The Future's so Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades When I Read Previews

I know the ISB has dissecting Previews covered, but I did at least five spit-takes reading this month's catalogue, so I had to write about it. It's full of crazy crap, as well as lots of stuff that I'm super stoked about. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotion.

First off, the cover:

Nope, those are not stautes. They're not busts, or action figures. These are photos of heads pasted onto the bottom half of busts. I know the July 2010 release means there's many months of sculpting time ahead, and believe me, I'm excited to see a little cold-cast plaster version of Vampire Bill. But seriously. Maybe wait until you have something substantial before you put it on the front cover? Even if it is the back front cover.

Who photoshopped this? Me? My cat? Actually, if Scrapperton did this, good job. But to anyone else, for shame.

I like how this is written like a newspaper headline; "Local Lad Krueger Makes Good in Neighbourhood Nightmares." This whole little piece of copy just rules. God, I'm seriously jealous. Writing for Previews is the best job in the universe. Especially making up the titles for those t-shirts.

Good lord, Marvel. This is some Krusty the Clown level merchandising. Do you have a sick mother in the hospital who desperately needs you to pay for an operation? Or do you have, say, a serious smack habit?

Hurray! Vertigo is making a figure of my favourite chocolate bar-loving, antler-headed cutie pie! A lil' Sweet Tooth to put on my bed side table!

OH. NO.

Ziggy is read by more than 75 million people every day. No joke here. Just a fact.

 

A phrase never spoken by anyone at LBW:

 

RASL #7? In February? So we've had like, one issue this year, but now THREE will come out in the next three months?

Riiiiiight. Maybe scientists will also discover that cheeseburgers are the best food for weight loss. And I'll inherit a cheeseburger factory. Jeff Smith, I love you. That's why your lies hurt me so.

BUT, you know what's exciting? Raina Telgemeier's comic about braces. And the first issue of the new Demo series!!! So awesome. In my head, Brian Wood and Becky Cloonan are BFFs who live together in a big comic-themed house and get into wacky, comics-related high jinx together. Could be true. You don't know.

See? A lot of ups and downs here. Well, until next month, Previews. Maybe in January you'll have learned not to put Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose on the same page as a bunch of kids comics. But don't go changin' just to suit me, Previews.

Beauty and the Block of Marble

OOooooo, what a great looking book! I'm going to try to make this cover the new mental image in my head when I hear the words "Image Comics." Usually I picture something like Haunt, and then I picture a plate of pasta primavera thrown at a wall. 'Cause that's what it looks like.

This lovely book was created by Marian Churchland, hot off her stint on Elephantmen.

Churchland tells the story of a young, out of work artist named Colette, who is commissioned to sculpt a portrait for an otherworldly man known as "Beast." She moves into his dilapidated home, and becomes transfixed with her work—slowly shaping a huge block of marble into the likeness of this mysterious figure.

While the book has a fairy-tale feel to it, and was in part inspired by Beauty and the Beast, it's not a Fables-style modern retelling. It's not a love story—or if it is—it's about the complex relationship between an artist and her work. It's about Colette's obsessions with representing Beast, not the Beast himself. In fact, she has more of an affectionate relationship with this awesome dog, Bodi, who lives in Beast's house.

This book is beautifully understated, both in the story and the art. Colette spends a lot of the story padding about Beast's old house, drinking tea, taking baths—preparing to work on the sculpture at night, when Beast will often appear. Churchland captures that waiting part of art—the procrastination, the mulling it over before beginning a frenzy of work. But the pace of the story also creates great dramatic tension, and adds to the general creepiness the permeates the book.

Churchland's art is just rad. Simple pencils that still say a lot, and really effective grey (and greenish) tones that show dark nights and murky days in an old house.

I tend to tear through a lot of comics in a week, and never give them a second thought, but Beast has really stayed with me. I keep thinking about panels that I want to look at again. I'm actually going to leave it on the nightstand and reread soon. And I seriously never do that.

Fun with Romance Comics: Fun with Dave Madden!

If you're confused about why girls lust over Robert Pattison, try and wrap your mind around who they crushed on 30 years ago.

Free poster of Dave Madden? Best known for his role as Reuben Kincaid, the harried agent for The Partridge Family, according to Wikipedia? No way!

  

Huh. Well, there it is. I don't know if I see the appeal. He was sort of a father figure, right? A dark, looming protector?

So, maybe Robert Pattison is the modern Dave Madden.

More like Models, Stink...Am I right?

I was going to bitch about Models, Inc last month, but I decided to let the hubbub about this comic settle a little, and allow for the SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT.

Watching Tyra dress up a bunch of skinny girls in crazy outfits and yell at them about "smizing" is basically the best part of my week, so I feel I'm pretty inclined to like a comic book about models. Really, all I wanted from this comic was to see Millie the Model, Patsy Walker, and their model pals, dress up in cool clothes and have some wacky photo shoots. They could even fight a little crime here and there. I just wanted it to be FUN.

For a comic that's undeniably girly, and presumably aimed at a non-comic-reading female audience, there are some problems that maybe could have been solved by having a lady as a part of the creative team. (Paul Tobin writes this, couldn't Colleen Coover draw it? How great would that be?)

 Like this: 

 

No! Those aren't tights!

These are tights:

 

If you don't want people to see up your tiny dress and spy your lady-junk, all thigh high stockings are going to do is give them a better show. Tobin had it right, but then I guess the artist, Vicenc Villagrassa, wanted to draw a sexy picture, so he went with the thigh highs.

I'm aware that it's a minor detail, but I feel like it just draws attention to the fact that Millie putting on tights is just a plot device, so she'll go into the woods and (***SPOILER ALERT!***) find murder weapon and a dead body.

And let's talk about the fashion in this fashion-centric comic. I guess it's not as bad as say, Teen Titans or something. There are no thongs. But c'mon.

Belly tops? Comic artists need to stop drawing women in belly tops! It's not 1995. I remember Bryan Lee O'Malley once saying that he'd look at fashion blogs and UrbanOutfitters.com for inspiration on how to dress his characters in Scott Pilgrim, and I think that really showed. His characters always look cute, and current. Do some research, Villagrassa.

But at least Models, Inc is FUN, right? Right? Actually, issue two is oddly depressing: Millie the model has been accused of murder, so she spends some time in prison.

Uh, wheeeeeee?

I'm not feeling it. My Wednesday nights are going to spent with ANTM, thanks.

A New Product at the Spa of Haunts!

Hey Teens! 

Do you suffer from unsightly acne? Do the other kids call you Crater Cranium, Butter Face or Just Plain Ugly? Now you can get clear skin in four easy steps!

1. Mix a Mint Julep.

2. Throw the drink in your own face (with vigor).

3. Turn into a horrific monster.

4. Finish with a cleansing toner.

What's that? Yes, I said "monster."

You'll turn into a ghoul who sucks the souls of living, or a zombie who hungers for warm, young flesh or even grotesque Frankenstein!

But with smooth, clear skin you can take anyone you want to the drive in (and murder them!)

Come Travel Light: This American Drive

Hooray! This American Drive is here! Halifax comic book superstar and Living Between Wednesday BFF Mike Holmes made a book, and I finally have it in my greedy little Gollum hands. I've been super stoked about this awesomely illustrated and brilliantly designed book, so I'm now cradling it in my arms and whispering "my precioussss." You know, treating it how I normally treat the cat.

This American Drive was originally a comic that appeared in Halifax's alt weekly, The Coast. The graphic novel is fattened up (like it's been eating too much White Castle) with a more in-depth story, including Mike's charming prose and more great illustrations.

The book follows Canadian, Mike, and his Texan girlfriend, Jodi, on a three week road trip across America. Mike perfectly captures of the unique experience of Canadians traveling in America. It's so similar and yet so different, like you accidentaly met yourself when you went back in time and you forever altered the future world. The USA is Canada Earth 2.

Mike and Jodi travel from the Halifax to Texas, taking in all that America has to offer.

His observations are spot on—they get waved through the boarder with barely a glance at their passports after weeks of worry, they squeeze into tiny but shockingly cheap hotels rooms on the side of the interstate, the drink $1 PBRs and they have a better time at Cooter's than at the Grand Old Opry.

We all know that the best part of any road trip is sampling the local cuisine and This American Drive serves up some delicious junk food porn, as Mike describes every barbequed rib dinner, plate of biscuits and gravy and basket of deep fried pickles that he and Jodi eat.

The title is an homage to the most essential of road trip items—podcasts of This American Life, and like its namesake, the book reminds us of the beauty and humour that can be found in the mundane, from a great cheeseburger to a funny looking cactus.

Invisible Publishing is taking This American Drive on their own little road trip. It'll be launched this Sunday at Word on the Street in Halifax (and your LBW writers will be there too with Strange Adventures and Nimbus Publishing), and in Ontario and Quebec next week.