Fun With Batman

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Phew. I'm done with photo posts for awhile. Let's get back to what really matters: hilarious Batman panels.

This panel just gets funnier and funnier the more I look at it:

Batman takes time to do the little things:

Wait. That's the clock in the Batmobile?! It's a dial clock!

In case what you're wondering what Rule Number One is for Batman:

1. Don't daydream while driving the Batmobile, causing yourself to be nearly wrapped around a pole.

2. Don't talk about being Batman.

3. Avenge parents.

Alright, get ready to cry:

Doctor?! Doctor of what?! That does not look like proper medical treatment.

Man, I like to think that, even if he saw his parents again, Batman wouldn't call them Mommy and Daddy. His parents look a little horrified by it.

Ooo! Heroes is on in an hour! I hope this is one where those Petrelli brothers finally just give in and make out with each other.

Bob Haney Rules Week: Closing Ceremonies

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It is with a heavy heart that I write this, the final post in Bob Haney Rules Week.

I just read Brave and the Bold #138.

The world's two greatest escape artists? Awesome!

Batman talks a lot like Dean Martin in this book:



And he wears an extra-long cape, it seems.

The best thing about this story, though, is that it leads to this:

If I were the bad guy I would have taken an extra minute to remove Batman's belt as well. Anyway, this is all very awkward and embarrassing for Mr Miracle. He's not happy:

I love that. Batman's all, "Now just relax, Scott. What's your hurry? Let's try to make the most of a bad situation here..."

Actually, Batman is basically useless throughout this entire story. He's lucky he has Mr Miracle along.

Mr Miracle busts out of that net, without clothing, and yells an awesome threat at the villain. And Batman...sits and swings like a market cheese.

Well, he did offer this piece of expert detective work:

And that, my friends, is why he's the World's Greatest Detective.

(And, really, who doesn't engrave their name on their pickaxe?).

You shut your mouth, Batman! This is a Haney comic and it can and WILL work! Be gone with your scientific reasoning and pesky facts! There is no room for them here in Haneytown! I'll not have you spoiling my fun!

Alright. So there you have it. Bob Haney rules. I'm not saying that I forgive him for the Super Sons, but...well, maybe that is what I'm saying. Here's a bonus panel from the Saga of the Super Sons that I left out of my post about them:

Bruce Wayne: father of the year.

The Biggest Space Bum in All the Galaxies

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Bob Haney Rules Week continues!

Ram Drood. As far as I can tell, he's a Haney original character. He's in World's Finest no. 246, and I believe this is his first appearance, but feel free to correct me.

He shows up, looking queenie, and accuses Superman of secretly trapping his deformed twin brother, Kor-El, in a Kryptonite asteroid for past couple of decades. And then the awesome, awesome insults start flying!

Three in one panel! And that's just after Green Arrow called Superman "the lousiest crumb in the universe!" Harsh words, GA. When Superman gets angry, he comes up with some pretty hilarious insults. "Bow-toting clown." "Space Bum." And my favourite:


"You crazy hobo!"

Superman has no time for this bohemian asshole. And the feeling is mutual.

Of course the only one who believes that Superman may be innocent is Batman. He even gives his friend a relaxing neck massage:

Man, eventually they are going to run out of things to call each other, and one of them is going to slip and say "doll face" or something instead of "old comrade" and it is gonna be awk-ward.

So, Ram Drood hangs out for the rest of the issue, kinda like that episode of The Simpsons where that teenager named Roy lives with them. No explanation. He's just there, chilling with the Justice League, and making Batman mad enough to use PG language.


Everyone is into the idea of Superman going to rescue his brother from the Kryptonite asteroid except Batman, who vehemently objects:

"Blazes!" Can you imagine if you were hanging out with some people and one of them got mad enough to start shaking their fist in the air like that? It would be weird. Especially if their anger turned the background red.

Ok, so it turns out that Batman is right, and Superman does die. Or, at least he appears to die. And Batman is left alone to grieve over his dear friend's body. Well...almost alone.

Why hasn't Batman punched that guy yet? Also...is Batman smirking a little?

Oh. Don't worry. Superman and Ram Drood patch things up in the end:

Random Acts of Haney

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I was working all day today, so this entry in Bob Haney Rules Week will be random...and awesome!

We'll start with a bone-chilling panel depicting Batman's messed-up sense of humour:

"Am I right, boys? Ha ha!"

*shudder*

And here we have a triple whammy of greatness. Batman makes a crazy comparison, calls Robin "kiddoo" (rhymes with Ski-doo) and Robin yells "God!" (Even funnier if read with a Napoleon Dynamite voice).

Next we have Batman a little off his game:


Look out, Bruce! There is a large and obvious bunch of men in your room! Just turn your head slightly! Use your peripheral vision! Stop reading that man's diary!

Aw, what am I worried about? It's not like they could really trap Batman with a stupid net!

Oh. Well...at least they took his shirt off and tied him up. Diabolical!

"However did you see through my cunning disguise, Clark? Was it the fact that I haven't altered my appearance in any way?"

"No, Bruce, old friend. I was just doing my usual rounds of x-raying the shirt of every man I see when I noticed the Bat symbol on your rugged chest."

In case you aren't convinced that Haney is the king of convoluted plot lines, this next panel more or less sums up the story the last four panels were from:

"Check!" That's very cute.

And finally...I love it when they finish each other's sentences: