Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Ten, By Johnathan

DC Comics Presents No. 67! Superman and Santa Claus vs. the Toyman!

The story is nothing extraordinary (read: I couldn't find anything especially worth making fun of) - basically, Toyman starts hypnotizing children to steal from street corner Santas and the like and the real Santa Claus ends up getting in on the act. The part that got me (because I'm a sentimental fool, see?) is when Superman gets home, thinking that it was all just a dream or possibly an imaginary story, and ends up finding his beloved childhood toy in his cape pocket.

I'm tearing up!

I do like that it wasn't a toy wooden thought-beast or anything. No, Kryptonian children wouldn't play with anything so primitive. They get thought-powered illusion machines which sounds fun until you remember some of the things that you imagined as a child. man, I was fairly convinced that there were horrible creatures (wizened, gnomish creatures) literally around every corner for a while. I probably would have had a tiny heart attack if I'd have been able to see them.

Still, JOHN APPROVED. Nice one, Santa.

"three Luornus,"

Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Nine, By Johnathan

One last panel from The Batman Adventures Holiday Special:

Included here because I read it two or three times before I realized that Batman was handing the present to that little girl. I kind of thought that he was just standing there glaring at her for calling him an angel. After all, six year-olds are a cowardly, superstitious lot. And Batman is real grumpy.

NOT APPROVED, Bats.

"Four head-shaped planets,"

Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Eight, By Johnathan

This one's from 1997's DC Universe Holiday Bash, back when there were still New Gods:

Now I know that I've already declared the title of Best Santa Ever, but I think that Highfather definitely comes in at a strong number two. Also, "moth-eaten hippie Abe Lincoln."

The story: a mall manager or owner or something sees Highfather and Orion wandering around and thinks that they're his Santa crew, based on ambient beard-magnificence, I guess. Highfather being, like, eight feet tall doesn't seem to be a problem for the guy until the costume doesn't fit.

Don't worry, though - Christmas isn't ruined. Tallpop uses his amazing power to make everything portentous and:

... ends up looking pretty cool! Not to be outdone, Orion puts his mind/Mother Box to things and becomes...

Actually, he becomes a pretty terrifying elf.

The rest of the story plays out kind of like that scene in Hogfather (by Terry Pratchett, natch) where Death is doing the mall Santa thing, though just the heartwarming stuff - no pig urine jokes. Check this out:

Adorable!

Dude, Highsanta is huge.

Such a great Christmas story. Right up there with the Justice League where Plastic Man claims that Santa has heat vision (that one's for next year, I'm afraid).

JOHN APPROVED

"FIVE LEGION RINGS!"

Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Seven, By Johnathan

Ag! It's the Twelfth Day of Christmas, kids! And the last day of my vacation! Do I have the discipline and mental fortitude necessary to finish these posts within my own Very Important Time Limit, or will you be reading this stuff until Groundhog Day? Stay tuned!

Today's lesson, from The Batman Adventures Holiday Special:

If ever you find yourself a grim avenger of the night with a semi-pathological fear of women and also a billionaire playboy with "eligible bachelor" status, Christmastime is a time for looking up.

Also, that lady with the blue hair is doing a great job of foiling two of her rivals.

Also also, the rest of this story features Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy on a shopping spree on Bruce's dime. It's well worth a read. In fact, it's JOHN APPROVED.

"six Tenzils snacking,"

Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Six, By Johnathan

I don't touch on Hellboy a lot on this blog, because I mostly like writing about things that I like but that are also demonstrably flawed in some way (not a bad thing, I swear) and to me at least Mike Mignola's extended Hellboy family of books is just pure fun. But it's the Twelve Days of Christmas Special, for heaven's sake! So here's something from "A Christmas Underground", collected in The Chained Coffin and Others:

Hellboy's on a case to help an old lady - No more details for you! Buy the book! - at Christmastime. But who does she think he is, other than a giant red detective?

That's a super panel-to-panel change. I really should have left them side by side but it would have spoiled the suspense (the incredible suspense!).

There's some stuff in the middle (still not going to tell you, nyah) and then Hellboy offers up some Christmas sentiment:

Man, I love that - the guy has great dialogue out the wazoo. This is one of my favourite short Hellboy yarns, not the least because of that little postscript. In a very weird way, this is one of the more heartwarming Christmas comics I know.

JOHN APPROVED

"seven boys a-bouncing,"

Twelve Days of Christmas Special Review Series, Part Five, By Johnathan

From the DCU Infinite Holiday Special:

It's always a hoot to see the ol' Phantom Stranger step out of character for a bit, possibly because it's easy to believe that he has a sense of humour and the absurd in him somewhere. Unlike, say, the Batman of the last 10-15 years. This ranks up there with him showing up with groceries in Seven Soldiers for my favourite Stranger moments.

JOHN APPROVED

Happy New Year, folks! So far, 2009 is highly JOHN APPROVED!

"eight Trappers timing,"