It's a Quiz: Are You a Nineties Super-Hero?

Nineties Week continues! Today we have a quiz for all of you out there who aren't sure whether you're a Nineties super-hero or not. Well, stop your worrying because Living Between Wednesdays is here to set you straight! Helping us out today are the stars of the 1993 DC event Bloodlines, famed for introducing such well-loved characters as Hitman and... Hitman! Keep on plugging, you crazy diamonds!

I briefly considered getting all fancy and having radio buttons and check boxes and a tally and so forth but laziness won out. So have a pencil and paper handy and remember to ask your parents before doing math by yourself. PRO TIP:  this quiz can also be used to determine if someone else is a Nineties super-hero. Just change the pronouns!

Part 1 - ATTITUDE

Are you so edgy and grim that you have no social skills whatsoever? Do you alienate and anger all around you? Are you, in short, a big jerk? Give yourself five points for each of the following situations that would elicit a rude, angry or sarcastic response from you, every single time:

- Someone asks you for help.

- Someone offers you help.

- Someone expresses concern or another feeling toward you.

- Someone asks you a question.

- Someone says or does anything while you are present.

Part 2 - POWERS

a. Are your powers completely generic, only with lots of crazy pyrotechnics? (If yes, add five points)

b. Can one of your powers be described as "I have a knife"? (Five points)

i. Is it a lot of knives? (One point per knife)

ii. Are there a lot of crazy pyrotechnics? (One point)

c. Can one of your powers be described as "I have a gun"? (Five points)

i. Is is a big gun? (One point if your answer is "Big", three for "Ridiculously big" and five for "It's essentially a small artillery piece"

ii. Are there a lot of guns? (One point for each additional gun)

iii. Does the gun resemble no actual firearm in any way? (One point)

iv. Are there lots of crazy pyrotechnics? (One point)

d. Are your powers totally gross? (Five points)

Part 3 – FASHION SENSE

a. Does your costume include shoulder pads? (Two points)

i. Do they extend past the reach of your actual shoulders? (Two points)

b. Does your costume consist wholly or in part of ripped street clothing? (One point)

c. Do any ties or the like on your costume have roughly one to two metres of extraneous trailing fabric? If you wear a cape, does it extend further than mid-calf? (Two points)

d. Do you have one of these face-framing numbers? (Five points)

i. Add two points if you don’t wear a mask with it.

e. Count how many pouches you have on your person. Give yourself a point for each one.

i. Subtract a point for each pouch that you have ever actually removed an item from or placed an item in.

f. Count how many spikes you have on your person. Give yourself a point for each one.

i. Subtract a point for every spike that serves some purpose beyond looking “cool” (e.g., is used offensively on a regular basis).

ii. Add a point for each spike that hinders your day-to-day activities (e.g., makes it harder to pass through doorways, is likely to stab you in the head if you nod off in costume, etc.).

g. Is your costume primarily black, silver, purple or red? (Two points)

h. Do your off-duty clothes resemble something fished out of the dumpster behind the Beverly Hills 90210 recording studios? (Five points)

Part 4 – NAME

a. Is your name a compound word? (Five points)

b. Does your name contain any of the following:

- Words related to death, dying or killing (Five points each)

- The name of a weapon, part of a weapon or action that you perform with a weapon (e.g., slice, shot, stab) (Five points each)

- Words related to blood, darkness, metal or fire (Five points each)

- Words relating to hitting (Two points each)

- The words hawk, cat or beast (Two points each)

Part 5 – MISCELLANEOUS

a. Do you have unfortunate hair? (Two points)

i. Add five points if it is a mullet or rat-tail.

b. Are you dead (Ten points) or presumed dead? (Five points)

Part 6 – SCORING

Okay, do you have your points tallied? Let’s see if you are a Nineties super-hero:

Score: 0-15 Verdict: Not a Nineties super-hero

Don’t worry, you’re okay. Whether you were created in the Nineties or not you seem to have avoided the decade’s malign influence. Give yourself a pat on the back and don’t worry about stabbing yourself in the hand.

Score: 16-25 Verdict: A little Nineties

You’ve probably gritted your teeth on a chromium cover or two. Don’t worry, though, the Nineties haven’t influenced you enough that the trend is irreversible – just think long and hard about whether you need that belt of pouches around your bicep and consider changing your name from Bloodkill to something a bit more friendly.

Score: 26-45 Verdict: Firmly Nineties

If you’re not holding a gigantic gun in each hand with your mouth open in a battle-scream with ropes of saliva connecting your upper and lower rows of teeth then you’re probably running in an anatomically-unlikely manner whilst throwing several knives and venting plasma from your eye sockets. Either way, you’re pretty damn Nineties.

Score: 46-60 Verdict: So, so Nineties

If you’re not dead yet then you’ve got a big surprise waiting for you at the next big crossover.

Score: 60+ Verdict: More Nineties than the year 1995.

If you exist outside of a page in a Todd McFarlane/Rob Liefeld joint sketchbook, I’m surprised. A spiked pouch is probably restricting your ability to breathe just now. Dislodge it with a knife-gun!

This post brought to you by the Society for the Promotion of Terrorsmith

Terrorsmith: because the world needs more sad sack would-be super-villains who just can't do anything right. And make monsters.

Back Issue Roulette: Wonder Woman No. 248

Well, I may be older but I am certainly no wiser. This week contained exactly zero post-related thought on my behalf, so today I wandered down to my friendly neighborhood comic shoppe and rifled through the back issues until I found the most interesting-looking one I could, so that I could glean wisdom from it. The winner:

Wonder Woman No. 248, "Crypt of the Dark Commander!" How, I ask you, could I resist the sight of a member of the US Armed Forces siccing a giant barbarian zombie on everyone's favourite princess? Plus! Battling Amazons!

Understand that I took a lot of this from context, but as far as I can tell Steve Trevor has died and then been brought back to life by Aphrodite. In a brilliant bit of subterfuge, Steve and Wonder Woman dyed his hair black, changed his name to Steve Trevor Howard and gotten him a job at the UN in the... let me check to make sure... yes, the security department.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Steve has been picked up by some intelligence types from the Army, who want to know just what his deal is. They take him to a top-secret base below a car wash and subject him to the most advanced of interrogation techniques:

Yes kids, the secret is to shout "WHO? WHERE? WHO? WHERE?" at them for four or five hours. But by all means: mix it up a bit if you want to know a "why" or "how" question.

In any case, this is all fairly reasonable: a man you think is dead, working at the UN with a cheap dye job? That spells "International Incident Waiting to Happen" six ways to Sunday! Military Authority Figure is merely looking out for the security of the US and the world at large, right? So he had to pick him up!

I know what you're thinking. Consider, though, that just because a man has a crazy giant skeleton warrior that he apparently worships squirreled away under his secret military base doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love his country. It could just be a hobby, or a coincidence. He works toward national security from 9-5 and then tinkers away in his crypt until bedtime. You have to keep busy, after all.

Once more I am disappointed by a comic book character.

All I'll say about this scheme is that I know plenty of military types and not one of them would get excited by the thought of perpetual war. You want to get the Lieutenant on your side, buddy? Promise him perpetual, glorious beer. And barbeque.

Anyway, the Major manages to hook Steve up to a machine that transfers his not-being-dead energies into the Dark Commander - who at some point led demons in constant battle somewhere in the vicinity of prehistoric New York, remember - and the big guy comes back to life!

It was a low trick, what the Major done, but I guess I can understand his excitement - it's always a thrill when a big project comes together. Resurrecting an ancient embodiment of evil combat must have really put the fizz in his whiskers.

But of course nothing ever goes according to plan: the glue melts on your matchstick Eiffel Tower or the ant colony springs a leak or the tropical fish you were going to breed turn out to be gay... in the Major's case he just didn't consider that a demon with a sword might just go ahead and stab him. In all fairness: he was an idiot.

Never fear, though, as Wonder Woman soon shows up and wrecks the Dark Commander. Sadly, Steve Trevor Howard dies a second time as a result of the whole ordeal. We are left with this oddly dichotomous final panel:

I mean, isn't that little yellow box incongruously cheerful? It reads like Wonder Woman maybe took five minutes to grieve, then slung Steve into a dumpster and went out for ice cream and some time with the Sinister Seeker of Secrets (I looked ahead and it's crazy. Maybe I bought the wrong issue...)

BONUS: Just in case you were wondering, the Battling Amazons promised on the cover are from a series of tales about the history of WW's people and their voyage to Themiscyra, kind of like the backups in old Thor comics about what the Norse gods got up to back in the day. It's, well...

Well, I'd have to say that it's pretty T&A-riffic. I have no clue how fun or interesting the rest of this backup was, but one thing's for sure and that's that this installment contains what is hands down the best giant talking spider ever:

That's right, it's a super-depressed talking spider! It lives in a strange void between the worlds, spinning webs to capture its prey and have a good chat with them. This is possibly the most horrific thing I have ever read of - it's still going to eat you but first you have to listen to it tell you about how lonely is is and how it wishes that it had gone to business school while it could still get in on a football scholarship... Pure terror.

I'll leave you with a few final words from the spider, after having its head set on fire during a daring rescue. Good evening, folks.

John Buys Comics

Red Robin No. 2

This was one of those comics that I was on the fence about after the first issue, right? I was all set this week to institute a new feature called the SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT specifically for these kind of situations, but dammit, I'm still on that fence. The good and the bad, my friends, are fairly balanced. Shall I run down the list? Indeed I shall.

The good: The Red Robin costume was one of my favourite redesigns in Kingdom Come, so it's nice to see it get used. Let's see... lots of good fights, a look at the DCU outside of the US... Tim's narration is written well and there is some decent writing overall, particularly the dialogue from the three League of Assassins goons, which is nicely on-character.

ON THE OTHER HAND

The bad: While the premise of the series (Tim doesn't think that Bruce Wayne is actually dead, charred corpse or not) is fine - you and I know that it'll take more than a couple of Omega Beams to keep the goddam Batman down - the execution is really painful. Now, I haven't watched much teen drama since my university girlfriend made me watch a lot of Dawson's Creek, so I'm not really up-to-date on the tropes of that genre. Nevertheless, that's all I can think of when reading the parts of this comic that deal with the events leading to Tim's Bat-quest. "Pacey, everyone's worried about you." "Dammit, Joey, don't you mean that Dawson is worried about me? God, you won't tell the truth about anything. I can't trust anyone. Everything is very dramatic!" Tim gets into a snit (possibly about Damien being Robin), pushes away his entire supporting cast, and lights out. It's infuriating and painful and so incredibly unnecessary. Here, I'll write an alternate prologue:

"Hey guys. I know that you're worried but I'm okay. I have millions of dollars and was trained by Batman and I'll be back in a bit. I just have to go do this thing for my own peace of mind. Remember, I'm the most rational and intelligent of the Bat-family - I won't act like an idiot all the time."

OR

"Hey rest of people who care about me but who I am not specifically mad at. Yeah, dick move on Dick's part, haha. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll work it out after I get back from looking for Bruce. Sure there was a corpse, but Barry melted and he managed to come back. Okay, see you in twelve issues or so."

OR

"Man, I need a vacation."

Minimize all of that over-dramatic stuff and this might just become a pretty good series. Seriously, the only people who act like that are the semi-crazy.

North 40 No. 1

This is the comic that was previewed in Wildstorm titles a couple of weeks ago - happily, it looks like they've stopped slapping a big notice on the front of every comic that has a preview inside, possibly due to the fact that every comic that DC puts out nowadays has a preview inside. I'd complain more but the ones this week look like they could be pretty good. Just wait until the preview for Cry for Justice II: Hush plays Starcraft and I'll let loose.

Wildstorm is putting out some pretty good comics nowadays! I'm not sure what makes a comic Wildstorm versus Vertigo - are Wildstorm titles creator-owned? In any case, I approve of the trend: North 40 is completely filled with potential for delight. Now they just need to make the whole "first issues are a dollar" thing a company-wide policy and I will be a happy man. (I looked it up: WildStorm is editorially distinct from DC proper and features creator-owned content)

In this first (more than a dollar) issue, a goth and a nerd (handily pictured on the cover) abuse the interlibrary loan system and acquire a Lovecraftian tome of ancient evil, complete with cephalopod cover. They neglect to follow rule 1 of dealing with cosmic horrors: never open any book with an octopus embossed onto the front, particularly if it projects more than three inches out. Something horrible happens. Their entire small town loses consciousness for a day and when they wake up a lot of them have been changed, mostly in really horrible ways.

This is a great set-up issue, as the residents of Conover County try to figure out what's happened to them and some sort of extra-horrible event, possibly involving a tentacled Outer God, looms in the future. Sides are starting to shape up, there may well be feuding monster hillbillies at some point, and there might be more of that goth chick later on (I am evidently a sucker for goth chicks). Aaron Williams and Fiona Staples knocked this one out of the park for me - we meet a lot of characters in this issue and they all get a distinctive look (particularly after they get monsterized) and an effective shorthand sketch of their personality. I was going to say that it reminds me of a really good television series that I might obsess over but just now realized that it's also very reminiscent of the movie Tremors in that it involves a lot of interesting characters in a small desert community trying to deal with a really horrific situation. It also looks fantastic and has a really nice, setting-appropriate and atmospheric colour scheme.

Hooray!

Wednesday Comics No. 1

I don't tend to follow the comic book news too closely, partially because I read a lot of DC comics and Dan Didio exhales spoilers instead of carbon dioxide and partially because I am very lazy, so while I had heard about this I didn't really know anything about it until the ad for it ran last week. The ad made me very excited. Fifteen stories featuring a lot of great characters and serialized at a (quadruple-sized) page a week? This could be very good. And this week I bought it and it was! The creators seem to have had free reign, as far as I can tell, with stories being set whenever and featuring whoever and thus hopefully never having to tie in to any giant crossovers or whatever. I will bet a dollar that a lot of these will eventually be collected into trades. A quick rundown of the stories:

Batman: Looks like Bruce Wayne-style Batman is going to solve a mystery. This one looks fantastic - lots of very effective panels with atmospheric colour and lighting. (Azzarello& Risso)

Kamandi, the Last Boy on Earth: This one looks very nice, with plenty of shots of ruined future New York. No indication on what the story is about due to it being a bit of a "the story so far" episode, but I have a feeling that Kamandi will get to fight some anthropomorphic animals next issue! (Gibbons, Sook)

Hawkman: Hawkman vs. a plane! This is the classic Silver Age alien Hawkman, and the story is being told from the perspective of a flock of birds. A comics first? (Baker)

Deadman: Deadman also gets to solve a mystery, and looks good doing it. Boston Brand is a great character who doesn't get enough time in the spotlight to himself, so I hope that this mysterious murderer has some good tricks up his fairly natty sleeve. (Bullock, Heuck)

Green Lantern: Possibly set in the New Frontier universe and definitely set during Hal Jordan's Sixties heyday, the first episode is mostly concerned with his supporting cast, which is always a good sign. Plus: it looks really nice. (Busiek, Quinones)

Superman: Superman fights a really excellent-looking alien. This will either be an unrelenting sock-fest or some sort of quest for identity. (Arcudi, Bermejo)

Metamorpho: Neil Gaimen writes Mike Allred in a story set firmly in the Haney years of the Metamorpho saga. This is possibly the Wednesday Comic that I am most excited about. Looks great and reads great, plus the Element Girl is going to return (Neil must feel guilty about bumping her off in Sandman). Now hopefully the mystery villain will be the one that never ended up getting revealed in the original series. (Gaimen, Allred)

Teen Titans: Another one that's a bit of a set-up for later episodes and one of the few that are definitely set in the present, or at least with the current Titans line-up. Some chump tries to kill the Titans. Not my favourite art style but better than usual against the white background. (Berganza, Galloway)

Strange Adventures: Very cool-looking Adam Strange tale. This is the Wednesday Comic that looks the most like something out of an actual comics page, only bigger. Set on Rann and fulla old-school space adventure. And mandrills! (Pope)

Supergirl: As far as I can tell, this is the Silver Age Supergirl - her costume features no exposed belly and no headband, at least - dealing with some misbehaving super-pets. Looks very nice with some terrific facial expressions. Should be a lot of fun. (Palmiotti, Conner)

Metal Men: Another one that presents the Silver Age version of the characters, as Doc Magnus takes the Metal Men out to observe humanity and is an asshole to them. Either set in the Sixties or showcasing the Metal Men's poor senses of fashion. Or both. (Didio, Lopez, Nowlan)

Wonder Woman: Teenage Wonder Woman getting ready to leave Paradise Island? I think? I was a bit confused by the narrative in this one, I must admit. The talking pigeons were fun though, and the Graeae swapping one glowing green eye was a nice touch. (Caldwell)

Sgt. Rock: WWII-era Sgt. Rock, vs. Nazis, by Kubert and Kubert. Yeah! (Kubert and Kubert, like I said)

The Flash: Barry Allen, pre-disintegration. Gorilla Grodd is in this one and written in a much more fun way than usual (seriously: Grodd has been savaged by the grim and the gritty almost as badly as Batman was). Featuring a neato format where it is subdivided into two subcomics: "The Flash" and "Iris Allen". I predict drama. (Kerschl, Fletcher)

The Demon and Catwoman: An odd teamup, but it looks like it's going to be a good time. Catwoman's going to steal something from Jason Blood and crazy stuff's gonna go down! This one looks really nice. (Simonson, Stelfreeze)

And that's that. I think that this idea has a heck of a lot of potential, as long as DC doesn't give up on it before it has a chance, like they so often do with such projects.

BPRD: 1947 No. 1

Man, this was a great week for comics.

BPRD: 1946 ended with a very ticked-off vampire vowing vengeance for Nazi experimentation on his kind. Now, one year later, it looks like he's carrying out his threat on various surviving SS officers and the like. Now here's the really good part: Doc Bruttenholm is concerned and so he sends a team in to investigate this vampire's past.

He sends a team!

This is great! The team is made up entirely of new characters - former soldiers and the like who were assigned to the BPRD at the end of the war - and they're all brand new, the most new protagonists in a Hellboy-related title since maybe Wake the Devil. So: we've got new characters without much in the way of a paranormal background bringing an interesting perspective to the whole thing, a very interesting little mystery for them to ferret out, nice spooky art coloured by Dave Stewart, World's Best Colourist... I am content.

Also: young Hellboy in pyjama pants is adorable.

Back for more:

Demon Cleaner No. 3 - I still like this comic, but dag nabbit it's a quick read. I finally figured it out why with this issue: the art is very nice and clean, with a Mignola-esque simplicity, but the main character is a taciturn SOB. So unlike an issue of, say, Hellboy, which is just crammed full of text, Demon Cleaner is filled with mostly pictures. Very nice pictures, mind you, but I can read a page pretty damn quickly. $3.99 for two or three minutes worth of entertainment might be a bit too steep for me... maybe I'll wait to see if the next issue features a little more exposition, as I have to figure that anybody who dreams up a restaurant where the rich gather to eat demons for their health should have a pretty good backstory for their main character.

Batman No. 688 - Not bad, Winick. This issue is something of a this-is-the-state-of-things checklist, with looks at Gordon and Alfred and the relationship between Dick and Damien. Highlights are seeing Batman grinning while fighting crime and Two-Face and his smart thug having a chat. A nice complement to the Batman and Robin series.

Booster Gold No. 22 - Time travel fun abounds, as does Teen Titans T&A and really flimsy cover stories. If this seres goes on for long enough then every hero in the DCU is going to have a story about the time they met Booster Gold and he was doing something weird. Dude needs a disguise shop like Spider-Woman had. The Blue Beetle backup is getting really fun - robots galore! I'm so glad that Jaime is still around.

Green Lantern No. 43 - We're almost at Blackest Night! I think that this is the end of the Prologue portion of the festivities, so get ready for your regularly-scheduled comics to be filled with power ring-weilding zombies, possibly. Sinestro Corps War didn't invade the DCU too severely as I recall, but then again there were all of those "Omens and Origins" backups a couple of months ago... Ah well. I'm excited for this one, and not just because I'm tired of seeing Scar vomit up black stuff and hopefully she'll get over that by the end. This issue is all about telling the horrible life story of William Hand, the Black Hand, and is not bad, if depressing and gross. Heck, they even kind of account for the cliche-spouting loser that Black Hand used to be back in the day.

R.E.B.E.L.S. No. 6 - So Starro the Conqueror is a man/starfish hybrid axe-wielding interstellar warlord from another galaxy, eh? I like it! This series just keeps getting better and Vril Dox just keeps getting more bastardly. And Amon Hakk is my very favourite Khund. Hey, and they seem to have done a pretty good job of exempting this series from any Blackest Night malarky, if I'm any judge. Good job!

Ag, it's bedtime. This is what happens when people invite me out to dinner - you are deprived of my opinions. The Strange Adventures of HP Lovecraft and Unwritten remain great! 

Good night!

Old Man John Buys Comics

Man, I seem to have lost all of my ability to write, so brevity may be the order of the day. Also lateness, because of that durned Canada Day that we have up here.

Also, I had a birthday party last night. Rachelle gave me the Eric Powell "Smokers of the Marvel Universe" poster (edit: sorry, that should be "the Eric Powell sketchbook and the Chris Schweizer poster"), my old friend Boudreau gave me a ceramic coffee cup that looks like a paper coffee cup and girlfriend Erica got me the entire Annotated Sherlock Holmes! Because she is the best girlfriend ever!

Batman and Robin No. 2

Whew. Good, good. There was no horrific second-issue drop in quality, just the Morrison/Quitely comic fun that most of us love. All of the players are on-stage and acting true-to-character: Dick Grayson is agonizing about maybe not being able to step up as the Bat, Damian is being insufferable and violent, Alfred is making with the heart-to-heart talks and the villains are being extra Morrison-creepy. The GCPD is proving themselves a bit less brain-dead than the rest of Gotham by noticing that Batman and Robin have both lost some size (and more than a few years). My only real beef is that it's occasionally tough to figure out what's happening in some of the more action-packed panels, though the fact that the big fight is between Robin and a set of cojoined triplets probably contributes to this. Eh, no matter - even if I have to squint at a panel now and again this is such a satisfying comic.

Run! No. 3 - This chapter is entitled "Step Three: Betray Your Only Allies" and the Human Flame does not disappoint. Last issue he fell in with a group of super-lamers headed up by General Immortus and including old favourites like Condiment King, Sportsmaster and Mr. Polka Dot and newbies such as Phoney Baloney and Miss Army Knife. He gets taken in, fitted with integral flame throwers and welcomed into the fold. This issue, he does his very best to screw things up. Lots and lots of good villain dialogue, from Condiment King's running stream of battle-puns to Sportsmaster's bravado to Phoney Baloney's generically broken English. I think that at this point the question might be not *whether* the Human Flame dies at the end but *how*.

Strange Eggs Jumps the Shark

I have no idea if this is an ongoing thing or not - I've certainly never heard of it before but there seems to be some sort of basic scenario - a deliveryman named Roger Rodgers gives an egg to two kids and a creature and then something hatches out of it - that a whole slew of comic-making folks play with and subvert. Jhonen Vasquez is present, as well as James Turner.

Okay, now I see. Strange Eggs was an all-ages comic with the above plot that I totally missed out on and now it's being savaged by various folks. So there's the potential for a child to witness the horrific vision of Jhonen Vasquez! Fun! The quality is all over the place here but it's worth it for Turner's contribution, as well as the phrase "Maliki and Llama, Creationist boy detectives".

Chew No. 2 - I like this comic. I like the setup, the main character, the art. Psychic adventures in the service of the FDA, yeah! Plus, the mystery that was introduced in this issue wasn't solved by the end! Hurrah! Actual detecting in a detective comic? Plus occasional acts of cannibalism? Oh my duckies, this could be a good one. Also, this issue reveals that there are three cibopaths in the world: Tony Chu, his partner and a Russian agent who I'll bet a dollar will turn up for a fistfight sooner or later.

Greek Street No. 1

Oh, bleah. I'm going to have to disagree with Grant Morrison on this one. This is not a good comic. Hey, but at least Vertigo's new first issue pricing means that I only paid a dollar to find that out, right?

The idea behind Greek Street seems to be that stories happen over and over and hey, here are some modern retellings of the Greek myths. Now, about half an hour ago you could have gotten me pretty excited with that little summary - heck, I was a Classics minor - but then half an hour ago I hadn't read this thing. It's just so... poorly executed. Oh hey, Cassandra is a crazy Goth chick, yeah! The Furies are a gang who are big on retribution, okay! There goes a guy, sleeping with his mother! Not that I object to a little darkness in my comics, but ramp up to it a bit. Greek myths are full of murder and patri- fratri- matri- and infanticide but on the other hand they aren't generally told seven at a time. Maybe if all of the stories going on here were told individually instead of at the same time I'd like the new sping better.

No, I probably wouldn't, because the dialogue is terrible. Bah!

The Muppet Show No. 4 (of 4) - All done... So sad. Hope that there's more, because this was a great series. Highlight of the issue: Fozzie and Gonzo imitating chickens.

Irredeemable No. 4 - I'm liking this one as much as ever, though I really hope that the eventual revelation re: why the Plutonian went bad is a good one. Going from Superman-clone to these supreme levels of dickishness is going to have to have a pretty good trigger. I think that Waid can step up, probably. We'll see. Anyway, this issue is all about enjoying Qubit, the eccentric genius machine empath cheese lover. He's very enjoyable!

Rex Libris Book 2

This came out last week and I put it on my "longer than twenty pages" pile and promptly forgot to write about it. As a former and hopefully future library worker I love me some Rex Libris, and as a fan of big guys who solve problems with their fists I love him again. And then a third time because James Turner's art is great and unique and uniquely great. I've had a busier-than-usual week and so haven't gotten to finish it, but I'd have bought even if it were just a two-page pamphlet containing the scene where Rex attempts to classify the zombie that is about to attack him. Dammit, I wanted to quote the scene but I am evidently the least-organized man on Earth. Trust me, it's great.

Speaking of James Turner, the next issue of Warlord of Io, that very fun comic was supposed to come out around now but was scuttled by Diamond's brain-enraging new distribution requirements (i.e., they won't distribute anything without a certain number of pre-orders). But! Mr. Turner is planning on bringing out the full Warlord of Io story as a graphic novel some time in the future, and currently has the unreleased issue available online here.

Tales Designed to Thrizzle Volume One

This book works out very well for me, as I somehow missed this series until it hit issue five and hey! this collects issues one through four, in glorious colour! I'm about halfway through and I've already busted a gut at least twice, with one gleeful cry of "with a bitter whore!", if that tells you anything. As my compatriots pointed out at the comic shoppe yesterday, this is probably the best book in a while to give as a gift, for basically anyone with a decent sense of humour.

Far Arden - As I said, I've had a lot to read this week, so Kevin Cannon's new book hasn't even been opened since I bought it. I'm mentioning it anyway, because I read one page in the store and was sold. On this page, a man was eaten by a bear, with the sound effect HUMAN-SIZED BITE! How could I resist? HOW? I'll be reading it this week - let's see if I can muster up the neurons to remember to tell you how it is (I'm guessing that it's going to be great). Update: I read the first chapter this morning and it is great.

Review of Failure to Review, by Johnathan

Boy, I suck. This has been the laziest weekend on record.

NOT APPROVED, and I'll do better, I swear.

(I am at least brainstorming Hallowe'en costumes...)

Prose: Review of Who Can Save Us Now?, By Johnathan

Took advantage of being home sick to finish reading Who Can Save Us Now?, which I mentioned in my first review of prose way back when. I'm far, far too lazy to see if I mentioned this then, but the theme of the anthology is that it's made up of the stories of brand new superheroes, and it's pretty consistently great. The authors (all new to me, which is extra-terrific as it gives me a passel of new books to check out) approach the idea of superheroism in a fairly diverse set of ways, from looking at old-fashioned rock-'em sock-'em heroics to everyday, trying-to-make-a-difference stuff. I did raise one eyebrow when the first story in the book ("Girl Reporter" by Stephanie Harrell) turned out to be, essentially, about Lois Lane and Superman without any names named, but it was such a damned fine yarn that I ultimately didn't care.

There are a lot of fantastic tales in this collection, in fact. "Nate Pinckney-Alderson, Superhero"(fantastic characterization, especially of the titular youth) by Elizabeth Crane, "Bad Karma Girl Wins at Bingo" (possibly my favourite-as-a-person character in the collection) by Kelly Braffet, "Man Oh Man - It's Manna Man" by George Singleton (best title in the book, and one of the best hero concepts), "The Thirteenth Egg"(coolest costume or equivalent, in my head) by Scott Snyder, etc, etc. As I said, lots of different visions, and nobody took the theme off in a really jarring direction (you know - like there's a themed anthology about desks, and someone writes a stream-of-consciousness drug-inspired novella about a dying yak who spend half a page imagining that he is a desk. Whether or not it's a decent story, you find yourself skipping over it the next time you read the book and the whole thing holds together a lot more coherently without it. Or is that just me?).

Owen King and John McNally - the editors - also put in a good show on the writing front, McNally with "Remains of the Night", about the butler to the super-creepy, Batman-esque Silverfish, and King with "The Meerkat", which is probably my favourite of the stories in the collection. King has the Kurt Busiek-like ability to throw out a few references and imply a whole superhero-filled world. I would love to read actual comic books (preferably about the further adventures of The Meerkat) written by this guy - I do believe that they would be great.

Likewise, I would heartily enjoy hearing more from Jennifer Weiner on the adventures of the characters in "League of Justice (Philidelphia Division)". Though the story itself is open-ended in a way that doesn't strictly require resolution, I would read any followup stories or an expansion to novel-length so hard.

In short: great collection (oops, almost forgot - really nice-looking cover and neato interior illustration, the latter by Chris Burnham), JOHN APPROVED

Addendum: I just looked up a few other reviews of this book, just out of curiosity, and have to say: what the hell is up over at the New York Post? This review, which I implore you not to read unless you have already or never intend to read the book, is possibly the most heinous thing ever. Oh, it's positive, and obviously much more professionally-written than my own written-for-the-fun-of-it efforts, but good lord, sir (sir in this case being a Mr. Brian Doherty), what the hell were you thinking when you chose two quotes that ruined the impact of two of the more affecting stories in the book? It's like going back in time and recommending Star Wars on the basis of the bitchin' "Luke's father" reveal. NOT APPROVED, sir.