Beauty and the Block of Marble

/

OOooooo, what a great looking book! I'm going to try to make this cover the new mental image in my head when I hear the words "Image Comics." Usually I picture something like Haunt, and then I picture a plate of pasta primavera thrown at a wall. 'Cause that's what it looks like.

This lovely book was created by Marian Churchland, hot off her stint on Elephantmen.

Churchland tells the story of a young, out of work artist named Colette, who is commissioned to sculpt a portrait for an otherworldly man known as "Beast." She moves into his dilapidated home, and becomes transfixed with her work—slowly shaping a huge block of marble into the likeness of this mysterious figure.

While the book has a fairy-tale feel to it, and was in part inspired by Beauty and the Beast, it's not a Fables-style modern retelling. It's not a love story—or if it is—it's about the complex relationship between an artist and her work. It's about Colette's obsessions with representing Beast, not the Beast himself. In fact, she has more of an affectionate relationship with this awesome dog, Bodi, who lives in Beast's house.

This book is beautifully understated, both in the story and the art. Colette spends a lot of the story padding about Beast's old house, drinking tea, taking baths—preparing to work on the sculpture at night, when Beast will often appear. Churchland captures that waiting part of art—the procrastination, the mulling it over before beginning a frenzy of work. But the pace of the story also creates great dramatic tension, and adds to the general creepiness the permeates the book.

Churchland's art is just rad. Simple pencils that still say a lot, and really effective grey (and greenish) tones that show dark nights and murky days in an old house.

 

I tend to tear through a lot of comics in a week, and never give them a second thought, but Beast has really stayed with me. I keep thinking about panels that I want to look at again. I'm actually going to leave it on the nightstand and reread soon. And I seriously never do that.

More like Models, Stink...Am I right?

/

I was going to bitch about Models, Inc last month, but I decided to let the hubbub about this comic settle a little, and allow for the SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT.

Watching Tyra dress up a bunch of skinny girls in crazy outfits and yell at them about "smizing" is basically the best part of my week, so I feel I'm pretty inclined to like a comic book about models. Really, all I wanted from this comic was to see Millie the Model, Patsy Walker, and their model pals, dress up in cool clothes and have some wacky photo shoots. They could even fight a little crime here and there. I just wanted it to be FUN.

For a comic that's undeniably girly, and presumably aimed at a non-comic-reading female audience, there are some problems that maybe could have been solved by having a lady as a part of the creative team. (Paul Tobin writes this, couldn't Colleen Coover draw it? How great would that be?)

 Like this: 

 

No! Those aren't tights!

These are tights:

 

If you don't want people to see up your tiny dress and spy your lady-junk, all thigh high stockings are going to do is give them a better show. Tobin had it right, but then I guess the artist, Vicenc Villagrassa, wanted to draw a sexy picture, so he went with the thigh highs.

I'm aware that it's a minor detail, but I feel like it just draws attention to the fact that Millie putting on tights is just a plot device, so she'll go into the woods and (***SPOILER ALERT!***) find murder weapon and a dead body.

And let's talk about the fashion in this fashion-centric comic. I guess it's not as bad as say, Teen Titans or something. There are no thongs. But c'mon.

Belly tops? Comic artists need to stop drawing women in belly tops! It's not 1995. I remember Bryan Lee O'Malley once saying that he'd look at fashion blogs and UrbanOutfitters.com for inspiration on how to dress his characters in Scott Pilgrim, and I think that really showed. His characters always look cute, and current. Do some research, Villagrassa.

But at least Models, Inc is FUN, right? Right? Actually, issue two is oddly depressing: Millie the model has been accused of murder, so she spends some time in prison.

Uh, wheeeeeee?

I'm not feeling it. My Wednesday nights are going to spent with ANTM, thanks.

 

Blackest Night: Wrestling Women

/

I brought home this quarter bin issue of Maxwell Madd and His Wrestling Women because, well, I like an easy target.

Maxwell Madd is your classic skeevy, 80's cool dude who looks like an emoticon. He hangs with a crew of muscly sexxxy ladies who wrestle bad guys, and each other. In this issue they have to hang out at Madd's rich (but sadly deceased) uncle's haunted mansion, and fight vampires.

I was ready to make a bunch of snarky comments about this ol' hunk o' junk, but then I read it, and it really wasn't so bad. Sure it's pretty dumb and gross but you get the feeling the creator really tried. And there were a few good jokes in there! For real! 

The creator, by the way, is one David C. Matthews (avoid confusion and note the "C." Although wouldn't it be awesome if it turned out Dave Matthews had created Maxwell Madd and his Wrestling Women?) David C. Matthews has a dumpy little website where he chronicles his stunted comics career, the highlight of which is Satin Steele, a porny comic about a lady body builder.

Satin Steele dips a bit too deeply into the psyche of David C. Matthews for me, thanks. (There's something depressing about sketches of weird creater-owned characters just hangin' and the Satin Steele site has a montage of those). But in his Satin Steele prologue, DCM kinda gets to the heart of what we need from comics.

"[Satin Steele is] not my earliest creation (that honor belongs to the afore-mentioned "Leenah"), but the one that I felt sure would become my "signature" property, as Batman was for Bob Kane and Superman was for Siegel and Schuster. And whereas a majority of my work is designed to appeal, firstly to me, and secondarily to my fellow fans of "femuscle", Satin was aimed equally to the "mainstream" reader - the "normal" person who may not necessarily like even the idea of "muscles on girls" but who'll respond to a well-crafted story that provides drama, humopr and strong characters"

It's humoprous, for sure. Typos aside, I think duder is right that comics can be about anything, as long as there's good characters and a good story. David C. Matthews is also wise to bring up Shuster and remind us that the comic industry was built by pervs. I keep forgetting to mention this, but Vice Magazine, in their comics guide issue, had a great piece about Craig Yoe's new book Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's co-creator Joe Shuster.

It features Shuster's pervy soft-core porn comics that star beefy dudes who look just like our favourite Kryptonian. The book looks amazing, and the pictures on the Vice site are strange and sexy and hilarious.

So what am I saying here? That given the right circumstances David C. Matthews could have been the next Shuster? No. That a stupid, porny comic isn't necessarily bad? Maybe. That my brain has gotten a little soft from too many ten hour days at the comic shop this week? Definitely. I'll be back next week to make fun of stupid shit.

Wonder Woman is Not Lame

/

There has been a lot of talk around the internet this past week on the subject of Wonder Woman and how lame she is. This is thanks to Hollywood it-girl Megan Fox's recent dismissal of rumours that she will be cast as the Amazon Princess. Her response:

“Wonder Woman is a lame superhero… She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it. Somebody has a big challenge on their hands whoever takes that role but I don’t want to do it.”

What weaponry do you have, Megan Fox? And what colour is your jet?

I sincerely hope that no one in Hollywood offered the role to Ms. Fox. As nicely as I am sure she could fill out the costume, I don't think she has the acting abilities to pull off a lead role, let alone a character as iconic as Wonder Woman.

Noted internet mega-douche Rich Johnston recently submitted a post about Wonder Woman by Adisakdi Tantimedh to BleedingCool.com. It includes absurd statements like:

"She only does two things: hit people or tie people up."

"Frank Miller found some spark recently by depicting her as a ball-busting bitch who secretly wants to be taken, preferably by Superman (since he’s the only one strong enough to be able to beat her up)"

"So for more than half a century, DC Comics has been marketing a scantily-clad dominatrix to children. She’s a heroic dominatrix, and she does it for free, so I guess that’s all right."

Most of the post seems to be arguing that, because Wonder Woman was created by a man with a bondage fetish, she is not capable of being developed past that point. Much like fans don't hold Superman's silver age dickery against him now (because it was the god damn 1950s and 60s), I think we can look beyond the flaws of Wonder Woman's early comics. When I say we need to overlook the bad Wonder Woman comics, I realize that this means overlooking a lot of comics, but that's ok because by doing so we'll discover the delicious centre of this character. With regard to her costume being silly...is it? Really? Is it more ridiculous than any other super hero costume? Is that really an obstacle to enjoying the character or taking her seriously?

Like ANY character, Wonder Woman is as good as the person writing her. When she is written well, she is a compelling and inspiring heroine.

Wonder Woman is a lot of things, but she is certainly not lame. Here's a run-down:

Wonder Woman is Royalty

She is Princess of the Amazons, carved from clay by her mother and given life by the gods. Joining her in this category are non-lame heroes such as Namor the Sub-Mariner, Aquaman, Orion and Black Panther. Not only is she royalty, she is on a first-name basis with the gods.

Wonder Woman is a Leader

Like Superman, Batman, or Captain America, Wonder Woman commands awe and respect when people encounter her. She has gotten this reaction from children, the citizens she rescues, the villains she beats up, and fellow super heroes. She can not only lead an army into battle, she can also take on the role of a teacher to her fellow Amazons, and to some of the younger heroes in the DCU.

Wonder Woman is a Warrior

I feel that this, above all others, is Wonder Woman's defining characteristic. Her instinct is to fight, to kill if necessary, and to lead her army into battle. She is not a detective, a scientist, or a mild-mannered reporter. She is the DC Universe's most ruthless warrior and most capable battlefield commander. She makes the hard decisions that Superman and Batman don't want to know about. She has a magic lasso and an invisible jet, and she also has a shield and sword, bullet-deflecting wristbands, and, oh yeah, superstrength, stamina and the ability to fly.

Wonder Woman is a Government Agent

It's easy to forget that Wonder Woman has a pretty impressive day job. Like Sgt. Fury, Mr Terrific, or Iron Man, Diana Prince fights to protect humanity even out of costume. And let me remind you that she is working to protect a world that she doesn't have to care about at all. She could be home on Paradise Island, eating grapes and lounging beside the pool. She is a princess, afterall, but she is a princess with a punch card.

Wonder Woman is an Outcast

Like Superman, Captain America, or Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman is living outside of her comfort zone. She was sent as an ambassador to "man's world," she fought in World War II, she was banished from Paradise Island for making a difficult decision, she was shunned by the Justice League for making a difficult decision more recently. Now she has chosen to isolate herself from her fellow Amazons once again. Wonder Woman has long suffered for her habit ignoring the rules in favour of doing what needs to be done.

Wonder Woman is a Hero

Wonder Woman doesn't have to waste her time at boring Justice League meetings, but she does it anyway. She is often given a third-place standing in the DC Heroes Trinity, but when you really think about it, an Amazonian princess sculpted by the gods clearly outranks an alien who has super powers by fluke chance and a miserable billionaire with too much time on his hands.

I love Wonder Woman because she doesn't brood. There is nothing emo about her. She is, in fact, one of the toughest sumbitches in comic books, yet still manages to have a comforting motherly aura.

Wonder Woman is loved. By me, by her fellow super heroes, by her fellow Amazons, and by the world. Her importance to the DCU cannot be overstated.

We don't need a Wonder Woman movie. I'd love to see one, but not so badly that I would settle for Megan Fox.

Miss Fury is Awesome

/

Miss Fury was a serialized superhero comic strip that ran throughout the 1940s. Not only did it star a female superhero, but it was created, written, and drawn by a woman. June Tarpe Mills, using the pen name Tarpe Mills to conceal her gender, debuted her character, Black Fury, in 1941. Like all good superheroes, Black Fury was a bored wealthy socialite (Marla Drake). She happened to have a panther skin that was brought back from Africa for her as a gift, and thus her life of costumed crimefighting was born.

The serials were eventually collected into a very short-lived comic book series by Timely Comics (you might know them as Marvel Comics).The first three issues of the comic were thankfully reprinted in a book by Pure Imagination Publishing which isn't the easiest thing to find, but can be purchased from their website. I was given this book as a gift a couple of years ago, and I can tell you that it is awesome.

Not only does Mills hold her own writing and drawing adventure comics for men in a man's world, she totally throws down some of the craziest shit I have ever seen in comics. Stone cold badass craziness.

But you don't have to take my word for it.

MAIDS SLAPPING NURSES

 WOMEN BEING BRANDED WITH 
SWASTIKAS

THAT'S RIGHT—WOMEN BEING BRANDED 
WITH SWASTIKAS

MEN PUNCHING NURSES

CATS VERSUS MEN

MEN VERSUS CATS

MEN IN PANTHER SUITS BEATING WOMEN 
IN PANTHER SUITS

 

CATS BEING TURNED INTO BOMBS

In conclusion, this collection of comics is definitely worth hunting down. As you can see, the art is awesome. And these panels are just a taste of what goes down. I mean, half of the story takes place in Brazil! I didn't even get into that!