FAT WEEK: Millie's fat friend

Having played the role in real life more than a few times myself, I have great affection for the fat friend character in all forms of fiction. One of my favourites is Millie the Model's chunky pal and roommate, Daisy. Daisy is full of sass and kindness. She features prominently in the comics, but never gets her own fashion pin-up page (even though her clothes are pretty cool).

Actually, one of the positive things about Daisy is that she isn't always talking about food or eating. But, sadly, a lot of jokes are self-depreciating or are made at her expense.

People are generally complete assholes to her, particularly the loser she has a crush on, Marvin. It's kind of a Jughead and Ethel type of relationship, and she should really just forget about this asshole.

He, for whatever reason, agrees to go on the occasional date with her (although he claims he can only stomach one date per week). The dates are less than magical.

The worst part is that Marvin isn't the only one scoring points off her while they are out on dates.

Seriously, camera guy? Seriously?

Seriously, horse guy? Seriously?

Daisy lives in a cruel world where people are not even concerned when she plummets from a tall building.

"Haha! Good one! Should we call an ambulance?"

"Better call two!"

I love Daisy, but she needs to raise her dating standards.

And, of course, the only men who find her attractive are total freakshows:

So my main wish for Daisy is to raise her standards, and stop dating this jackhole:

Hip-Happy Heroes Part 2

It's Fat Week, day 2, and here I come with another installment of Hip-Happy Heroes, that rollicking look at the temporary fatnesses of the heroes of yesteryear. Today: it's grab-bag day!

Hip-Happy Hero : Aquaman

Yes, even the beloved Aquaman was no exception to the rule that every character had to get fat at least once before the 60s were through, though in his case  it was less blubber and more blimp.

1. How'd He Get So Big?

One day, as Aquaman and Aqualad were patrolling the seas, they happened upon a raft-bound castaway. They towed him to safety, whereupon he made a startling revelation:

The old man explained that Aquaman could now transform himself into a big fat blimp, a wide thick wall, a stone giant and a long thin arc. Then he died, before he could go on to explain why he hadn't tried to use any of these powers to, you know, try to escape a hideous death on the pitiless waves.

2. What Were the Social Ramifications?

Of all of our Hip-Happy Heroes, Aquaman probably gets off the lightest (so to speak). There's nobody hanging around making cracks about how he should join the circus or complaining about having to pick him up or anything. Aqualad worries a bit about how he might burst, but then that kid always was a worrier. Plus: he uses his fatness to save a ship, so big bonus there.

Before you ask, yes, the Aqua-blimpiness does wear off on schedule six hours later. In true Silver Age form, Aquaman uses up his new abilities just as fast as he can, one after the other, and then they are never spoken of again.

Hip-Happy Hero: Wonder Woman (and Green Arrow, Kind of)

Another crazy adventure of the JLA lands Wonder Woman in the fat soup. Green Arrow too, kind of, though with him I feel that the shortness is more key than the fatness.

1. How'd She Get So Big?

Well, the Justice League were chasing aliens at a carnival, see, and they stumbled into a funhouse mirror-cum-trap, with hilarious results!

All in all, this mirror thing was a pretty fattening experience, as Wonder Woman and Green Arrow both chunk up pretty darn thoroughly, while Flash comes down with a bad case of Thunder Thigh. Heck, even Green Lantern's head looks curiously enormous.

2. What Were the Social Ramifications?

Social ramifications don't really come into this one, unless you count the fact that the Wonder Woman was rendered too fat to fight effectively and so humanity was almost crushed under the heel of an alien overlord. I'm sure that that would have led to some awkwardness at the water cooler.

Oh! and having to get help from Aquaman just to lift your arm, that's pretty embarrassing.

3. Well, How Did She Get Back to Normal?

Well, after the incredibly difficult fight for the future of the planet, Green Lantern remembers that he has a magic wishing ring that can do anything, so he fixes them right up. But only after the incredibly difficult fight for the future of the planet.

4. Can We Apply Her Method to Our Own Lives?

If you have access to a magic space ring then I say go for it. Plus, use it to make me a new computer.

Hip Happy Hero: Blue Beetle

Yep, poor old Ted Kord managed to snack his way to tubbiness, smack in the middle of the Giffen League's heyday.

1. How'd He Get So Big?

Snack food and a sedentary lifestyle were Ted's undoing, though just how he managed to be sedentary while fighting Despero and the like is beyond me. Anyway, he chubbed himself up good.

2. What Were the Social Ramifications?

As can be expected, ted got a lot of ribbing from his team-mates in the League, as well as super-villains, passers-by, Rocket Red's kids and society at large. And he got fired from the League over it. Plus, I think that it may have been one of the reasons that he got the hell beat out of him in a boxing match with at-his-jerkiest Guy Gardner. it was the least respect that... It was the second-least respect that he ever got.

3. Well, How Did He Get Back to Normal?

In the shocker of the century: through diet and exercise. I know, I know: what a chump. He knew at least four Green Lanterns, right?

4. Can We Apply His Method to Our Own Lives?

Well sure, if you're a chump.

And remember: Hip-happy means plump! Good night!

Fat Week: Hip-Happy Heroes Part 1

That's right, folks: it's Fat Week here at Living Between Wednesdays. Fat Week is a time to celebrate all of the fatness in comic books, whether it be the mature girth of a Mr Weatherbee or the youthful rotundity of a Herbie Popnecker. The fat characters of  comics have done so much for us down through the years and now it's time for us to give them a little something back.

Personally, I set out to take a look at that bane of the Silver Age: temporary fatness. Just name a super-hero who was active in the early 60s and chances are they spent at least one issue of their comic just as round as can be. There were so many, in fact, that to try to fit them all into a single post would be the very definition of madness. Instead, I am going to offer up a series of posts as the week wears on, looking at the plight of the momentarily mountainous and examining just how they managed to get in and out of such a situation. First up: The Flash!

Hip-Happy Heroes: The Flash

1. How'd He Get So Big?

Back in Flash No 115, the Flash was squaring off against his perennial foe Gorilla Grodd, who had traded in his mighty simian body for that of a diminutive bald man. Tiny Grodd still had his massive brain, however, and managed to hit the Flash with a ray gun blast.

Grodd's ray causes the Flash's body to absorb massive amounts of moisture from the air around him, to the extent that he ends up a bloated mound of scarlet-clad flesh, barely able to move, let alone run.

2. What Were The Social Ramifications?

If there's one thing that comics have taught me about the 60s, it's that difference was not tolerated. It's not a question of whether a given hero's life would be ruined by sudden weight gain, but to what extent. The Flash might carry this to its extreme:

That's right, Grodd uses another ray to wipe Barry's memory and then sells him to a circus to be gawked at by yokels.

3. Well, How Does He Get Back To Normal?

Since this is the Flash, you might expect the answer to be that he runs off the weight, very quickly. I am afraid, however, that you are wrong. Instead, after glimpsing himself in a funhouse mirror and regaining his memory, the Flash concocts a cunning plan:

He hops into an industrial-sized dehydrator, a machine that is evidently capable of reducing thousands of potatoes to powder. I give you the thinking man's super-hero, ladies and gentlemen.

It works, though, and even removed the extra foot that he had grown on this arms in the bargain.

4. Can We Apply His Method To Our Own Lives?

Oh, lord no! After about a minute of this kind of sweating:

... you would dry up into a little mummy. No, the Barry Allen Method should only be attempted by those who have been rayed by a gorilla, and only then under a doctor's orders.

Until next time, remember: Hip-happy Means Plump!