Supplement to the Addendum to the Review of the Legion of Super-Heroes, Part One, By Johnathan

Ahaha! Time to review alla the Legionnaires that I haven't yet gotten around to! Uh, pre-Five Year Gap, of course. We'll leave that can of worms for a later date.

BLOK


I like Blok. I'm kind of sad to learn that he has no name, though. Silly me, thinking that it was Blok, all this time.

Blok was from the planet Dryad, which had at some point exploded. The Legion was on hand to evacuate, and for some reason a group of Dryadan youngsters assumed that since the Legion was there that they were the ones who blew the place up and so they swore eternal vengeance, got powers from a jerk named the Dark Man and started calling themselves the League of Super Assassins (and just to be on the safe side, they also swore vengeance against grass, because the whole damn planet was covered in it, as well as the sun, for just floating there and watching the place blow up). As so frequently happens, they almost killed the entire Legion on their first try but afterward never quite managed to pull it together again.

The only Super-Assassin to go anywhere other than a seat next to Ronn Karr at the Legion of Super-Villains annual benefit dinner was Blok, who had never been that struck on killing people anyway. He ended up with a light jail term because he'd helped to capture the rest of his team and tried out for Legion membership once he got out of the clink (and he completely schooled Lamprey, Nightwind and Crystal Kid while doing it, which makes me happy). Blok made a really neat Legionnaire and a great requisite Big Strong Team Member. He started out fairly clueless about how human society worked (oh yeah: he's not a human made of rock, he's an alien. Made of rock) and unlike a lot of similar characters never quite lost that trait, which was charming. He spent a lot of time watching the Legion mission logs and palling around with the White Witch and being philosophical and introspective - not quite as unusual today for a Big Strong Tough Guy but definitely a refreshing variation on the type.

As you can see, Blok liked to wear his pants hiked up real high, which I would hate except for the fact that it's so distinctive that I like it for its uniqueness. I just wish he'd wear some sort of solid colour instead of horrible stripes alla the time. Ah, well. at least this picture showcases big shoulder pads in their optimal environment - on someone with big shoulders - rather than in a less-than-suitable one, such as everywhere else that big shoulder pads have been used as a costume element, ever.

This is also a decent shape for Blok. By which I mean that he looks a lot less hideous than he frequently did back then. See, back in the old days, Blok kept getting redesigned - first he was kind of tall with a horrible neck-frill kind of thing, then he was squat with no nose, then he had these kind of erupting craters on his shoulders... I think that they eventually said that it was some sort of mutation based on environmental conditions or something but I'm thinking it was just a series of artists who hated drawing him the old way, or felt like messing with the rock guy, or whatever. The only good redesign wasn't really one, it was just this one time that Blok got all shot up and the scars and craters stayed with him for literally years. It was very very cool, in that a character's physical state is usually pretty resistant to change. Even though Batman or whoever has a broken leg and comic book time passes at about the rate of a month a year, he'll be fully recovered by next issue.

Evidently, I like Blok enough that I don't have anything particularly funny to say about him (the picture doesn't help - he should be standing there holding a train over his head or something. All this picture says is "I'm large and I like to accessorize with yellow"). I was sad when he eventually fell victim to the great purge of post-1975 (or so) characters that eventually swept through Legion comics. Booo! bring back Blok, because he is:

JOHN APPROVED

This Week's Haul: BBQ at Blue Beetle's House!

Daredevil #106

In this issue Daredevil throws a party! And all of his friends are there and they all have a wonderful time! Daredevil laughs and loves and dances and decides everything is going to be ok from now on.

Oh, I'm kidding. In this issue Daredevil continues to march in the endless parade of shit that is his life.

I love this series. Really love it. But, damn, it has to lighten up a little. Comic books shouldn't make you wish they came with a suicide pill.

Blue Beetle #25

People sometimes ask me why I read comic books. This comic book right here is EXACTLY why I read comic books. What an awesome and fun issue of an awesome and fun series. It brings together the whole supporting cast in a way that makes you say "Hey, this comic has a really excellent supporting cast."

And, ladies and gentlemen, I give you your new desktop image:

Plus, I love any comic that ends in a super hero BBQ party:

All-Star Superman #10

I want to read this at least three more times because there is just too much awesome happening here to take in all in one sitting.

This issue was particularly heartwarming. And confusing. But when you read it really carefully it's staggeringly brilliant. Superman created our Earth! Insane!

And this page is amazing:

Wolverine First Class #1

This was great! It was more like Kitty Pryde First Class, which is ok with me. I can typically take or leave Wolverine, but team him up with a plucky young girl and you've got a recipe for adorable!

The art is excellent. The story is really fun, and, along with X-Men First Class, it doubles my cute X-men story intake!

X-Men First Class #10

A Cyclops-centric story, which is ok with me because I inexplicably really like Cyclops. He gets sent on a solo mission after the rest of the team all hilariously have a horrible bacterial stomach infection.

Green Lantern #29

Here's the thing: we've all read Hal Jordan's origin a thousand times. But does it ever really get tired? I really liked this issue a lot, and am looking forward to more of Geoff Johns' version of this tale. Especially since Ivan Reis is laying down some absolutely beautiful art to compliment it.

This is a pretty smart move by DC to re-tell the origin because of the sudden crazy interest in all things Green Lantern, thanks to the Sinestro Corps War. I like it when comic publishers do smart things.

Batman Confidential #15

I hope everyone has been reading this Bedard/Morales run on Batman Confidential. I understand if people have been missing it, due to the fact that BC has been a festering dung heap since it started. No more! Now it is one of the best Batman stories that I have read in a very long time. Do check it out. This issue was part 3 of 4.

Teen Titans #57

I am really close to dropping this, and it is 99% related to the art.

I just want to offer this bit of advice to current comic artists: belly shirts. No one wears them anymore, guys. You put a girl in a belly shirt and it looks like Melrose Place. Please take an hour or so a week to take note of current fashions. These are teenagers; they should look somewhat hip and "with it" (as the kids say).

Also...that is not how clothing fits. I know I shouldn't even open this can of worms because it's so enormous, but shirts don't perfectly encase breasts like that. There is stretching and hanging and extra material. This looks effing ridiculous.

Plus, she's a teenager, so...gross.

This Week's Haul: So Good It's Boring

I really want to review comics this week, but I don't have much to say about them. They were all pretty solid. I mean, what can you really say about Captain America, Iron Fist, The Incredible Herc, Grendel, The Brave and the Bold and Birds of Prey besides they are all really good? All the time. Even Spider-Man is rocking the house regularly. I have very few complaints these days.

I would like to talk about three comics, basically.

Catwoman #77

Ok, this was awesome. This book is consistently awesome, as I keep mentioning on this blog, but I think bonus points deserve to be awarded when the book ties into Salvation Run and is STILL awesome.

In this issue Catwoman, still on a bizarre parallel world after having supposedly escaped the Salvation Run planet, beats Batman in a fight:

And then destroys the Justice League:

And then LIGHTS A CIGAR WITH HAL'S RING!

I love this woman.

Super Friends #1

Awwwwwwwwwwww. Look at them! All stumpy!

I'm not going to lie: I'd be a lot happier if J. Bone was doing the interiors on this title, but I can give any quibbles about the art a pass because, hey, kids are buying this comic! Kids are asking for this comic by name! We are selling lots of copies of this comic! It's exciting. This first issue is certainly a lot blander than Tiny Titans, or Teen Titans Go...or basically any other all ages comic on the shelf right now by any publisher, but still...

Green Lantern defeats Amazo using the awesome combined power of the Justice League believing in him. And frankly kids need to learn these valuable lessons (i.e. - holding hands with your friends will cause a giant ram's head to burst out of your finger).


Superman/Batman Annual #2

Yeah, I keep saying I am not reading this comic anymore...but I love annuals.

This annual kept the same theme as last year: re-telling a classic Superman/Batman team-up story. This time it's World's Finest #178, where Superman loses his powers and tries to make a go of it as a powerless crime fighter named Nova.

Like last year's annual, this one is written by Joe Kelly and infuses a nice amount of humour, parody and tongue-in-cheek sexual tension between our two heroes. But where last year's was just full-throttle with the silliness, this comic is actually a pretty decent re-telling. It updates the story nicely without being nearly as corny as you would imagine something like this being. It's not hard to be an exceptionally good issue of Superman/Batman, but this is one. The art, by Scott Kolins, is also very nice.

I think it would be cool if they could reprint the original stories as part of these annuals, or at least mention where readers can find the original stories. I also think that every issue of S/B should just be a re-telling of a classic story. Or be anything other than what it is right now, which is a complete waste of everything.

So there it is. Another week of comics that is so high in quality it's downright boring.

Addendum to the Review of the Legion of Super-Heroes, Part Five, By Johnathan

Well, it's been a little while, huh? One reason for this is that I'm having a bit of a hard time thinking up anything interesting to say about the last four old Legionnaires that I have to cover before moving on to the exciting, new, awesome Legionnaires. So I'm going to plow through them all at once. Yee haw!

SUN BOY

Good basic picture of Sun Boy. I've always been fond of that costume, though the fact that it's never really changed in any significant way makes it hard to think up any new snarky things to say about it. Same goes for his hairdo, which really hasn't changed since he first grew it out in the 2970s. Mrs. Morgna's boy knows a good thing when he sees it, I guess. Oh, what I wouldn't give for him to have had a momentary lapse and started wearing a big spiky sun mask, like something Electro would wear if he was Solaro Energo instead. I coulda gone on for days!

The pose is great, though. This is almost certainly the exact posture and facial expression that Sun Boy adopts when his girlfriend of three months catches him sleeping with her sister. "Sorry baby," it says, "Dirk Morgna just can't be tied down to one woman."

JOHN APPROVED

TIMBER WOLF

Again: very hard to say anything new about this costume, as it's basically the same as the one he started out in (barring some minor redesign. The same bits are all there, just in different places). The ol' orange-and-brown-or-black-maybe costume isn't anything to write home about, but it's not terrible either. See? Not much to say.

Evidently, this picture hails from one of those periods in which Timber Wolf was having rage issues on the side. I have to admit, I always think that that sort of thing is bullshit, at least in Mr. Londo's case. I mean, he was given super-powers by a ray that his father developed out of a rare mineral, right? And then he called himself Lone Wolf because he was under the impression that he was an android and had some asinine belief that a self-aware android wasn't fit to interact with humans and so vowed to live apart, right? And then he changed his name to Timber Wolf when he joined the Legion because Lone Wolf doesn't work as well when you hang out with twenty other guys all the time, right? So... where does the 'bestial temper' thing come from? I don't recall any in-continuity explanation other than the assumption that wolf = bad temper. Could the origin of Timber Wolf's rage and interesting teeth be that Wolverine was/is a very popular character and the Legion was filled with very polite folks with no anger-management issues? Nah.

I like the mean-looking drawing in the background, though. Check it out: it looks like a drawing of a vampire from a 1970s black-and-white horror comic - Creepy or Eerie or something. Neat!

NOT APPROVED

ULTRA BOY

Favourite Legion costume, with no changes, check. Flying around looking like a loveable lunkhead, check. Nice sideburns, check.

JOHN APPROVED

WILDFIRE

Again with the unchanged costume that I like. Bah!

The only thing that I can really think of to comment on is the fact that Wildfire seems to be venting an awful lot of his anti-energy in this picture. Perhaps, says the juvenile portion of my mind, he has just experienced the energy-being equivalent of letting a large fart? I know, I know. Far too obvious. Consider this, though: could this be what Dawnstar looks so surprised about, over in her picture?

JOHN APPROVED

Okay! Next up: new folks!