Possibly Superman's Most Obscure Power

Superman is investigating a strange rash of disappearing objects and discovers that they were all made from steel produced in a certain factory. Sensibly, he goes there to check things out.

The next logical step, of course, is for Superman to examine the molecular structure of the steel to see if anything hinky is going on. Now, I have to assume that someone on the creative team either just plain had a neat idea or felt sorry leaving the rumpled old factory owner out of the action, because instead of just showing us what Superman sees in a POV panel, they had him make this startling revelation:

AND THEN IT WORKS!

Oh how I wish that this was something that ever came up again (not that I've read every Superman comic extant, but I have to assume I would have heard of it by now otherwise). I can only imagine panel after panel of Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen staring at Superman's eyes through magnifying glasses, or Lois trying to take pictures of Clark's eyeballs to see if he was using vision-based powers while pretending to cower in fear. Ah, well. A man can dream.

From World's Finest Comics No. 48.

World's Finest Wingmen

You may or may not know the story of World's Finest Comics, so here it is: Originally an anthology book in the fine tradition of Action or Adventure or Detective, World's Finest featured the solo adventures of both Superman and Batman. Accordingly, every cover featured the two, plus Robin, engaged in some kind of wholesome activity, like sledding or playing baseball or shooting Nazis.

See? The scamps are such big fans of one another it just warms your heart. The three appeared on covers together for literally dozens of issues before they ever met up in the course of the story, after which such team-ups became the main thrust of the book. That, however, is unimportant when compared to just how many odd situations were represented in those covers. Case in point:

I just can't stop looking at this cover, my friends. I mean, I know that it's no unusual thing for any of these characters to help out a citizen in a time of trouble, but... these dudes are pretty clearly hitting on the above ladies, right? And Superman in particular... I don't want to sully the Man of Steel's image, but I reckon he might be angling to break in his new Fortress of No Strings Attached.

In any case: one of the greatest covers of all time.

The Unfunnies: Varsity Vic!

Varsity Vic!

I was going to say something about this being about the only sport that I've ever seen Varsity Vic participate in, despite his name, but then I looked it up, and it turns out that though the most common use of 'varsity' is in regard to sports teams and other competitive arms of universities and colleges, it can also refer to those institutions in general. So Vic can be varsity simply by virtue of being a college student.

Of course, that revelation is now throwing me for a loop, because I always thought that Vic was in high school. I guess that all of the jalopy-riding and eccentric hat-wearing of the majority of his cartoons makes a bit more sense in that light.

As for the comic itself, I have but one thing to say: that girl has admirable levels of self-esteem.

- from Lois Lane No 23

The Unfunnies: Video Laffs

Once again we see the phenomenon of the terrible joke as cultural record. I'm sure that somewhere a Reader's Digest editor is compiling a page of "Internet Chuckles" or "It Could Only Happen Online" anecdotes, and just as certain that, had mass media existed in the Stone age there would have been a humorous feature called "Fire Follies."

Note how in those early days of television humanity had not yet evolved the complex television-sharing diplomacy that any multi-child, single TV family must possess in order to survive - truly a dark and primitive time.

- from Detective Comics no. 249

Criminal: Last Of The Innocent #1

It’s been a over week since Criminal: Last Of The Innocent #1 hit the stands at better comic shops everywhere, so I feel justified in discussing it freely—the high concept of this latest in Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips’ series-of-miniseries is one of its best selling points, but the reveal of it definitely merits a spoiler warning. So, if you just want to take my word for it that it was the best comic I read last week and proceed from there, then by all means, go buy it and then come back to read my thoughts on it. Otherwise, read on while I try to make a point about its greater relevance, both sudden and ongoing.

 Still with me? Or back after reading it? Okay, good. Criminal: Last Of The Innocent is about a guy named Riley Richards, once a fun-loving, all-American teen, returning to his hometown of Brookview to deal with his father’s terminal illness. In the years since he passed on the girl next door, Lizzie, to marry her rich rival, Felicity, Riley’s life has gone down the toilet—he’s in hock to the mob, and Felicity is cheating on him with another one of his childhood friends, Teddy. By the issue’s end, Riley is convinced that the only way to reclaim his fun-loving youth is to murder his cheating wife. Any of these characters sound familiar? Even if you don’t pick up on it right away, the cartoony flashbacks to the gang’s wayward youths spell it out for you pretty quickly—Last Of The Innocent is about what happens after Archie grows up and marries Veronica. If you have never read a Criminal comic before, it doesn’t matter; each of Brubaker and Phillips’ crime series stands alone, even if some of the characters have connections to the protagonists in the preceding series. All you need to enjoy Last Of The Innocent #1 is a love of a good story—particularly a good crime noir story—and a passing knowledge of Archie comics (a little familiarity with Richie Rich and Josie & The Pussycats doesn’t hurt either, but it’s far from essential).

 Last Of The Innocent #1 works on more than one level, as every good story should. As said, it works as a hard-boiled crime story, one where some poor sap who’s had a bad go of things decides that one unforgivable, irreversible act of violence will turn his life around. It also works on a postmodern level, examining what might have become of a group of beloved cartoon archetypes after they all graduated from high school and moved out of their parents’ houses (even if this took them over half a century, in publishing terms). And finally, it works on the level of satire—specifically, a satire of our current preoccupation with, and the inherent dangers of, nostalgia. Riley is so convinced that his childhood was wonderful and perfect that he’s willing to kill it to get it back, even though a) he can’t ever get it back, not really, and b) his childhood maybe wasn’t as wonderful as he thought—the cartoony flashback sequences always seem to have some kind of danger and/or general unwholesomeness lurking around (sex, drugs, and murder were a lot more common in Brookview than in Riverdale, it turns out).

 This is an especially relevant theme, these days. Woody Allen’s latest movie, Midnight In Paris, wrestles with the notion that the good old days were, in fact, highly overrated, and that nostalgia is something of a tender trap. This week, J.J. Abrams’ new film, Super 8 opens—a loving homage to late 1970s/early 1980s sci-fi films like E.T. and Close Encounters Of The Third Kind—and some critics have already accused it of being an empty exercise in Spielberg worship (the legendary director executive-produced Super 8). And, last week’s bombshell announcement that DC Comics plans to relaunch their entire superhero publishing line in September speaks to both the need to let go of the past (70-plus years of continuity will be largely ignored to provide a fresh start for potential new readers, or so we were told at first), while also confirming that, in fact, nostalgia is an inescapable strand of the DNA of comics fans (after early reports of a total reboot, DC’s steady stream of title announcements for the September relaunch reveal that most of these series maintain the previous continuity pretty much intact, despite the requisite costume redesigns and creative team rotations). Even for comic book publishers, it’s tough to let go of the good old days.

 Last Of The Innocent isn’t one of those wretched re-examinations of beloved comics characters that wallows in postmodernism by simply recasting old favourites as drug addicts, wife beaters, and fascists (although one of the thinly-veiled Riverdale gang is now saddled with a substance abuse problem). Brubaker and Phillips actually have something to say about the dangers of viewing the past through rose-coloured glasses, and their Archie pastiche provides an entertaining and insightful storytelling device with which to deliver it.