Wolverine Week Special: The Hair Conundrum

Happy Free Comic Book Day, folks! And happy Wolverine Weekend! What a world we live in when such joyful occasions can overlap.

I have to say that I was caught a little flat-footed by Wolverine Week. I haven't read many Marvel comics recently (I was enjoying The Twelve but then my curse kicked in) and so wasn't really up to speed on what was going on with the crazy Canuck. Luckily, however, I remembered that I am one of the Internet's top Comic Book Hairstyles scholars¹ and so have a surefire way to fascinate and delight you: with a brief illustration of Wolverine's status as a nexus point in the Great Comic Book Hair Continuum.

Now, I'm sure that I don't have to tell you about the Continuum, that vast chart that illustrates the wide variety of hairstyles that exist in the comics medium, their interrelations and influences. It's quite a fascinating field of study, really, and ever more complex as people create new and  distinct characters with ever more unusual haircuts. Why, the inclusion of manga characters in the Continuum after the Pan-Asian Inclusion Conference of 1991 caused the Master Continuum Map to start resembling something along the lines of the Snowflake from Planetary.

Back to Wolverine: Mr. Logan is an interesting figure as he occupies a nexus point between five hair families, while even the most complex hairstyles usually incorporate elements from two or three. Here, check it out (sorry, you're going to have to click and expand this):

This is of course a simplified version of the Continuum. The real thing is 3D and requires a  supercomputer to properly render. Still, you can see how exciting Wolverine's hair is to the Style Academy.

Speaking of simplification, I don't want to get about a thousand angry comments from Hair Continuum Reductionists, so here's Wolvie's position on the Approved Simplified Hair Continuum:

It just doesn't seem the same to me really, but notice that Wolverine still does very well!

I won't bore you with further technical discussion of the intricacies of the Continuum - if you're interested in learning more you can see my series of articles in Ink and Protein, including The Best He is at What He Grows: Wolverine and the Nexus Point² and The Arms of Logan: The Case for Incorporating the Body Hair Spectrum into the Continuum³.

¹I am actually no such thing.

²This paper does not exist.

³Neither does this one.

Later that Day:

As I was writing this it occurred to me that it might be excessively weird, so here's something a bit more... less weird.

So you know how Wolverine was part of an evil Canadian government conspiracy and had all kinds of conditioning and programming and implanted memories and such? While I was image hunting earlier this week I found the absolute best of those and the best evidence that this was not just an evil conspiracy but a dick of a conspiracy:

Here we have Wolverine beau and fellow conspiracy-victim Silver Fox recovering some memory.

Oh no! people are beating up her date!

Her date Wolverine. That's right: the evil conspiracy felt it necessary to simulate a memory of Wolverine getting beat up at his prom and then being a dick to his date.

Can you hope to compete with this level of dickishness, American conspiracies? X-Files conspiracy? Huh? What  do you got, kidnapping Mulder's sister? Go home, girly conspiracy.

Good night, folks.

Wolverine Week: Wolverine Gets Manga'd

Our old pal Wolverine is taking Living Between Wednesday—and the world!—by storm this week. We all know Wolverine has spent some time in Japan, but no one saw this coming: Wolverine manga! Hold onto your bone-claws kids, 'cause this ain't your mama's Wolverine.

Prodigal Son is the first of a series of Wolvie Manga, written by Antony Johnston (or Wasteland fame) and drawn by Wilson Tortosa (who the internet tells me has worked on a bunch of stuff including Tomb Raider).

I'm not a big manga fan, but I'm not all that bananas about Wolverine to tell the truth so maybe meh+meh=coool?

Well, I know this for sure:

THIS

  PLUS THIS

EQUALS

WOLVERINE MANGA!

Prodigal Son is a re-imaging of our hairy mutant friend, in which Logan is a teenaged orphan living at a secret Canadian Dojo. Man, Wolverine Week is really proving how cool Canada is! Logan and the other kids at the Dojo do say, "eh" a lot, which gives the whole thing credibility.

The book has all the makings of a fun teen action/adventure comic. Logan's got a secret past, and mysterious special abilities. He doesn't know who his parents are, how he ended up at the Dojo, and why he can heal like a mofo. All this existential questioning throws him into whirlwind of emotion that ranges from mopey and emo to totally self-righteous. Ah, teenagers!

Logan's crushing hard on his Sensai's daughter. She's fiesty and super tough, so they spar all the time and it leads to SEXY RESULTS.

He's also got the requisite tubby best pal, always there for support.

The dude is totally the type to like, loudly open a Twinkie package when you're crouched down behind a rock, hiding from a bad guy.

 

He's all, "What, guys? I get hungry when I'm nervous!"

On top of baby Wolverine's emotional crisis, he's got to deal with a crazed rival who's totally pissed that Wolverine kicked his ass, and that he's losing the big hair competetion.

 But I'll tell you what this book is all about: FIGHTS!

Fights and fights and fights and fights. Lil' Wolvie is scrappy as all heck, and this book provides all the SNKTing you could ever want.

I think the kids will be all over this one.

Wednesday Interview (Wolverine Week Edition): Steve McNiven

Wolverine Week continues here at Living Between Wednesdays, and our Wednesday Interview segment finds us chatting with Steve McNiven, currently hard at work on the Old Man Logan arc in the pages of Wolverine. The Halifax, Nova Scotia based artist first found fame drawing Meridian for CrossGen Comics, the company that launched the careers of other future Marvel superstars like Jimmy Cheung, Steve Epting, and Greg Land. Snapped up by Marvel, McNiven kicked off a new title, Marvel Knights 4, with writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, followed up by the Ultimate Secret miniseries with Warren Ellis and a run on New Avengers with Brian Michael Bendis. In 2006, Steve and writer Mark Millar turned the Marvel Universe’s greatest heroes against each other in the Civil War miniseries, a landmark event that included the public unmasking of Spider-Man and led to the death of Captain America. Steve followed this up by collaborating with writer Dan Slott on the inaugural Brand New Day arc of Amazing Spider-Man, (which relaunched the title as a thrice-monthly series), and now he and Millar are collaborating again on Old Man Logan. This dark, frightening, storyline, set years into a possible future, sees a broken-down Logan who has vowed never to pop his claws again on a journey across a nightmarish America that has been conquered by the worst of the supervillains. Logan and his companion, a sightless Hawkeye, travel the country in the old Spider-Mobile, eluding the Mole Man’s Moloids, an all-new new Kingpin of Crime, and, oh yeah, a Dino-Venom.

Holy $#!% is right! Steve was able to tear himself away from the drawing table long enough to answer a few of our questions about his influences, his collaborators, and what it’s like to draw a world where the bad guys have won.

1. You’ve worked with fan fave Mark Millar twice now, on Civil War and the current Old Man Logan arc on Wolverine. What is it about this particular collaboration that works so well for you? Do you guys have plans for a third project together in the future?

I was talking to my Wolverine editor John Barber about this just the other day. I think Mark writes just the kind of script that makes it fun and challenging for me to draw. He tends to be a very visual writer and has a great flow from panel to panel so I don't find myself having to 'fix' anything to make the story work, and that means that I can concentrate on the fun stuff. But it's more than that, something I couldn't adequately define, a sensibility perhaps that we both share that allows us to work well together. I dunno, but I'm glad it's there because I have so much fun working on his stuff, maybe more than I should as I tend to savor the pages a bit too much and  get way behind on the schedule. He's also a real pro, and I've never had to wait for script from Mark, ever, and I count my blessings as it happens to so many other artist's that I've talked to. All in all I'm a pretty lucky guy.

2. Between the present-day crossover action of Civil War, the dark future Marvel Universe we’re currently seeing in Old Man Logan, and your runs on Marvel Knights 4 and Amazing Spider-Man, you’ve gotten to draw pretty much the entire Marvel Universe. Are there any other characters, or genres, even, that you’ve been dying to get your hands on?

 Yeah, I have drawn a bunch of the Marvel characters, but most not in any real depth, so there still are many characters out there to have some fun with. Really though I don't tend to chase characters. I chase the writers . A great writer can make almost any character compelling enough for me to want to work on. A terrible writer can ruin your enthusiasm , sap your strength and it shows on the page. But if I were to just look at the Marvel characters that I'd like to draw more of then I'd probably could have some fun with the X-Men, maybe the Hulk and definitely Spidey again because he's such a huge challenge to capture artistically and I don't think I've really got a good feel for him yet. Genre wise I'd love to do some Sci fi and Fantasy based stuff as I'm an avid book reader. If you haven't read anything by Alastair Reynolds, or Matthew Stover, do yourself a favor and go check them out.

3. Old Man Logan takes place in a dystopian future where the supervillains have conquered America and killed most of the good guys—pretty grim stuff. Additionally, it’s probably one of the most violent comics to come out of mainstream Marvel in quite a while. Do you ever find it tough to have to make some of the images in this series come to life?

Sometimes, yeah, it can be a bit challenging, but it's always a good thing to push yourself artistically, going places that may be uncomfortable or unsettling. Sometimes it can be a bit of a struggle but it's worth it if the final work helps to convey the story. You know, It's still a head scratcher as to why North Americans find graphic violence so palatable but overt sexuality is still off the menu so to speak. The grim and gritty is a hell of a lot of fun fun to draw for me. Post apocalyptic stuff has always held an appeal for me, from Blade Runner to Cormac McCarthy's The Road, there is a great chance in there to show some exciting visuals.

4. Who are some of the comic book artists who inspired you to start drawing in the first place, and which current artists are you following these days?

Well, all the artists  that I worked with down in Florida during the CrossGen years really set me along the path and I still count myself lucky to get that face to face training ( even if the place was insane). From there it was a wide variety of artists, from  Charest to Hitch, Moebius to Otomo and more and more than I have the time to list. And of course there is an even wider field of art out there, not wrapped up in the commercial needs of comics that is always a huge inspiration. It's always interesting to see art that is divorced from commerce content wise, because it's so full of experiment and accident, and those things are essential to artistic growth.

5. Old Man Logan is wrapping up over the next few months. Can you tell us anything about what you’re doing next, or have you even thought that far ahead yet?

 Mark Millar and I are kicking around a few things, but it's too early to really get into any specifics, sorry. I am looking forward to pushing my art around in different ways and I am starting to make a more conscious effort to play around with different looks lest folks ( and myself!)  start to get bored of the same old thing from me.
 

Rating the Superhunks #22: Wolverine

Am I the only one who sings "Wolverine" to the tune of Chuck Berry's Maybelline every time I read his name? Just me? Ok.

Wolverine is starring in his very own movie that opens this week! It looks a lot like the other three movies he was in! Let's see how the stocky little Canadian X-Man stacks up on the hunkometer as we rate:

James Howlett aka Logan aka Wolverine

Costume/Appearance:

He's the best he is at what he does, but what he wears isn't pretty (see what I did there?).

For me the classic brown suit is the way to go. The yellow and blue with the black claw pattern has surpassed it as the most well-known Wolverine look, but it just isn't as nice.

BEEFY!

I know that the blue and yellow came first, and then was brought back, but come on. That brown suit looks great (or, at least, as great as it can look).

PART-TIME LANDSCAPER.

The basic elements of the costume are pretty much always the same: tight, sleeveless, belt, weird pointy mask, and gloves. The sleeveless aspect is nice because Wolvie has got some beefy arms. The mask is damn ridiculous though. In the 90s it tended to look extra ridiculous and extra pointy. I do like that his shirt comes off pretty much all the time. I would say that Wolverine spends more time being shirtless or naked than most superheroes (except, of course, Namor...Hercules...Silver Surfer...alright, a bunch). But Wolverine is the shortest one!

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THIS ONCE.

And on that note, his physical appearance can be summed up in one word: stocky. Actually two: stocky and hairy. Dude is a carpet. And the hair on his head is CRAZY. His personal style is casual, manly and consists mainly of leather jackets, tank tops, jeans and cowboy hats. Plus the ever-present cigar or cigarrette.

WOLVERINE'S PUFFS HAVE THREE 'F'S.

So in the end, I say he loses points for the mask, earns some for the sleeveless costume, earns some for the constant shirtlessness, loses some for the crazy hair, and gains a bunch for his macho style.

7/10

TWICE THE MAN YOU'LL EVER BE.

Personality:

I think 'gruff' is a pretty good word to use here. He can also easily be described as "the anti-Cyclops," which is maybe why I don't love Wolverine. I have always been a bit of a fan of Cyclops, wiener that he is. Wolverine joins the X-Men and is all assuming that he can steal Cyclops' girlfriend no problem because he's Wolverine and Cyclops is a little wiener who shoots lasers out of his eyes. In a way, that sort of bold self-confidence is sexy, and yes we would all love to see Jean going to town on Wolverine for a solid issue, but we know she's better off with Scott.

NOT HIS WIFE!

However, as we see with his various love affairs with Japanese women, Wolverine is pretty devoted and emotional when he wants to be. And he's good as a mentor to young X-Men like Kitty Pryde. Also in the "pro" department, he is very smart. And he's straightforward, which I can respect.

I LIKE HIS ATTITUDE!

I also respect that he is a proud Canadian (when not written by Jeph Loeb) and is a hockey fan. But he also strikes me as your typical stereotypical husband type who would sit around watching sports and drinking when he's not at work, and expecting you to bring him food. Frankly, I like to aim higher with my fantasy superhero husbands.

7/10

HULK PROBABLY DOES MIND.

Sexiness of Superpowers:

He can rapidly recover from basically any injury or illness, he has animal-like instincts, and he involuntarily had his skeleton covered in unbreakable adamantium which also gives him unbreakable retractable claws. According to his Wikipedia entry, it is believed that the only way to kill him is to decapitate him and remove his head from the vicinity of the body. Obviously, this is pretty sexy.

THE MAN CAN REALLY FILL OUT A TANKTOP.

Seriously, though, I think a guy who can take a bullet for you and it won't interrupt your date much is appealing. Apparently on said date he could also be decapitated by lazy attackers who leave the head on the ground next to the body, and you will still make it to the theatre having only missed the trailers. Not bad.

I do not, however, like thinking about holding hands with the guy and the claws suddenly pop out unexpectedly. And you would have to shower a lot because that guy can really, really smell you. And yet, he probably smells terrible. He doesn't strike me as a frequent bather.

NOW WITH LESS BODY HAIR!

So what I am saying is, the healing powers are sexy, the claws are scary, and the animal senses are weird.

7/10

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? NOTHING.

Day Job:

This one is tough because Wolverine has lived for, like, a billion years so he's had a few jobs. Most notably, he was a Canadian soldier, then secret agent, then experiment for the evil Canadian secret military project, Weapon X. I think my favourite thing about Wolverine is Weapon X. For one thing, there is no way Canada could afford to fund a secret military organization, much less an evil one. Maybe Canada could afford to coat a skeleton in nickel. Perhaps gravy. Certainly not something as expensive-sounding as adumantium. That's just silly.

THIS IS HOW I'D LIKE TO GO.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Wolverine! He doesn't really have a day job now. He splits his time between being an X-Man, an Avenger, a helper of Power Pack, and a sullen loner. Also, sometimes he goes undercover by wearing an eyepatch and calling himself "Patch." And the bad guys try not to hurt his feelings by letting him know that this is a terrible disguise.

"OH HEY WOLVERINE. WHAT'S WITH THE EYEPATCH?"

I mean, seriously. Patch?! It's like Clark Kent calling himself Glasses. Or Bruce Wayne calling himself "Without the Batman Costume."

Anyway, Patch, if that is your real name, which it isn't Logan, which isn't your real name either, James...Actually, Wolverine has some real identity crisis issues that might be annoying.

7/10

FROM WOLVERINE'S BRIEF CAREER AS A MODEL.

Cons:

Besides the fact that he's not the easiest guy to talk to, and the decades of pain he carries inside him, it's also wise to remember that Wolverine is basically an alcoholic. Plus, a lot of his girlfriends end up dead.

LOOKIN' GOOD!

 I'ma take off 3 points for that stuff. I think that's fair.

-3

Final Score: 25/40

SCHLIKT?

No, Wolverine, you're done. Consider yourself rated. And consider yourself equal to Cyclops on the hunkometer, you crazy Canuck.

Wolverine Week: Lookin' at Merch!

Wolverine is one of Marvel's most popular characters, and he has appeared in three movies, with a fourth hitting theatres this week. He has also appeared in several animated series. What all this means is that there is a lot of Wolverine merchandise floating around out there, and it's not all awesome. Join me as I wade through it.

This is the official X-Men Origins: Wolverine electronic claw. It seems to be a pretty hot item right now. But it does not look safe. When you flick your wrist the claws come out, which actually is pretty rad. I did some digging and found a number of Wolverine claw products for children, and this one is definitely the best. I mean, check this lame thing out:

Laaaaaaaaame. Those are long lady gloves with plastic claws glued on. I thought that this was the sad welfare version of Wolverine claws, until I saw this:

A rubber band with nails on it?! What the hell is that thing? But it's hard to fault this product because that kid on the package RULES. I encourage you to click on the image to view the larger size.

But it isn't all claws in the world of Wolverine merchandising! Sometimes you need to get sexy.

Y'know, I have never thought "I'll bet Wolverine smells pretty good." Of all the superheroes who SHOULDN'T have their own cologne, I would say that Wolverine is maybe sitting just on top of Solomon Grundy. And that guy's dead.

I thought this Wolverine/Transformer hybrid was pretty much the stupidest thing I've ever seen:

Until I saw this Mega Bloks Wolverine robot:

There is just no reason for these things to exist.

I'll tell you what ARE awesome, though: Wolverine party supplies!

Alright! Awesome!!! And I am charmed by these thank-you cards not only because of the idea of a Wolverine thank-you card, but because it's charming to think of kids sending thank-you cards to their party guests. Good etiquette, kids!

I just want to bring this Weapon X action figure from the new movie to everyone's attention:

What in the crazy fetish toy is this? In-sane.

Oh, dad.

And finally, don't wear this. Not anyone. Not ever:

So, in conclusion, weigh your options carefully when you are making a decision about how best to spend the money you have saved in the Wolverine Merchandise Fund.

This Week's Haul: Superman looks good in a uniform.

A bit of a light week for me, but an awesome one nonetheless.

World of New Krypton #2

I would say that the awesome Gary Frank covers are a tease, but I actually really love Pete Woods' art. So it's win-win. And you know what else? Greg Rucka and James Robinson are doing a great job of writing this series! It would be a lot of fun to dive right into Krypton as a writer (or two) and really develop it as a place. What we have learned so far is that Kryptonians are dicks, which only further proves that Superman owes a lot of his awesomeness to Ma and Pa Kent.

Also, I really like Superman in that soldier's uniform. Rrrrow!

 

Wolverine: Weapon X #1

Jason Aaron returns to Wolverine writing! Yay!

I would not normally buy a comic with 'Weapon X' in the title, or even 'Wolverine,' but if Jason Aaron is writing it, I will buy a comic called "Azrael and Cable: Dark Reign Battle for the Cowl Countdown Arena Fathom." I really would.

Fortunately, I instead got to read this comic about Wolverine killing dudes. Lesson learned: do not try to mug Wolverine on a subway.

Batman Confidential #28

The only bad thing about this comic is that it's the last one in an amazing three-part story. Seriously, if anyone asks why I love Batman, or even comics, so much, I am just going to hand them these three issues (or, if DC is clever enough, the eventual trade of this story).

Batman is awesome in this story, the Riddler is awesome, and there is a brand new Bat-villain. Impressive all around! Plus amazing art by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. We need more Batman comics like this one!

Green Lantern #39

Mmmm...delicious citrus-flavoured Lanterns!

We are formally introduced to yet another Lantern Corps in this issue, the avarice-ridden Orange Corps! These guys are total assholes.

Green Lantern is consistently one of my favourite comics each week. I have really enjoyed every part of the long build-up to BLACKEST NIGHT, which I expect will be very rad.

Secret Six #8

Even without Nicola Scott on art this month, SECRET SIX was totally rad. First of all: Deadshot in a suit. Secondly, he and Scandal were gettin' romantic (not with each other). Thirdly, there is a TINY TITANS parody at the end of this comic!

 I also really like that this kind of counts as a Wolverine cover? Like all those Wolverine covers that Marvel is doing all month?

Showcase Presents: The Doom Patrol

Finally!

Ever since Showcase Presents started I have been waiting for this one for two reasons:

1. I haven't read much Doom Patrol because it only is available in expensive DC Archive books;

2. This is exactly the kind of comic that should be collected in a black and white Showcase book. This is fun reading.

My favourite thing about that cover: none of them seem to be looking at that gorilla with a gun. There is something more interesting on that screen off panel!

 Things I bought but haven't read yet: EXILES #1 and SUPERGIRL: COSMIC ADVENTURES IN THE 8TH GRADE #5. Looking forward to them!