This Week's Haul: Wolverine Day!

I only read one comic with Wolverine in it this week, and he wasn't in it very much.

I am going to check out the Wolverine movie in a few short hours. I'll let you know what I think. I'll tell you one thing right now: I think it's awesome that Marvel has a big release every year on the Friday before Free Comic Book Day. I don't know if that's planned or not, but it is pretty well-timed. I am going to have to get a good night's sleep tonight before the craziness that is FCBD at Strange Adventures happens tomorrow. I'll be helping out all day and it is always like the Thunderdome every year...in the best way possible. I love everything about the day, so I am very excited.
 

Uncanny X-Men #509

There was something distracting about this issue and it wasn't just the Greg Land artwork. I have been loving Matt Fraction's writing on this title (enough to buy Uncanny X-Men monthly!) but this issue was getting dangerously close to...Winnickness. I don't like politics or social commentary mixed into my comics typically, but I tend to be more tolerant of it in X-titles because prejudice and intolerance is basically what the whole series has been about since the beginning. I'm just saying, when it starts to sound more like the writer talking than the characters, I get a little sleepy. Even if I agree with the writer, it's still a little boring.

But I still really like this series. And now it has added French-Canadian/gay content with Northstar as a new member of the X-Men. He's attractive.

Also: Colussus at a Raiders game! Colossus at a Raiders game!

Superman # 687

I'll tell you one guy who did not appear in this book: Superman. But there was plenty of Superman's childhood "friend," Mon-El. Poor Mon-El.

Again, I am very impressed with how well this whole big Superman cross-over event is working. I love Guedes' art, and I think Robinson is better at writing the characters around Superman than he is at writing Superman himself.

I am a little confused about one thing: Mon-El's secret identity. Why does he need one? It seems so complicated. And why is he using the name Johnathan Kent? That's just absurd and needlessly confusing. Why can't Mon-El just be Mon-El full-time? He has no family or loved ones to protect. The only person he knows is Superman.

Justice Society of America #26

This is the last issue of JSA that I will be buying because it's the last issue that Geoff Johns will be writing. It certainly felt like "this is it forever, folks! To be continued NEVER!" so I wouldn't say that the team did a great job setting it up for the next one.

So in this issue the JSA...throws a birthday party for Stargirl and...that's it. No fighting, no bad guys, no conflict. Just good old fashioned wholesome socializing and a heartwarming exchange of pleasantries over cake and ice cream. But if you like that sort of thing, and I tend to, then you'll be into it. And if you like full-page and double-page group shots, then you'll be REALLY into this because there are several.

The wholesomeness is what's nice about the JSA. They aren't the Justice League. If the Justice League throws a birthday party it ends in rape, murder and genocide.

I also read Doctor Doom and the Masters of Evil #4 (after two issues of being very confused, I really enjoyed this finale a lot), Wonder Woman (still awesome) and Green Lantern (gettin' crazy). I still have a bit of a pile to get through because it's been a pretty crazy week, but I am looking forward to reading The Muppet Show #2 (Matt got to it first), Rasl #4 (Yay! Finally!), Legion of Three Worlds #4 (Yay! Finally!) and that Fantagraphics hardcover collection of Blazing Combat.

Rating the Superhunks #22: Wolverine

Am I the only one who sings "Wolverine" to the tune of Chuck Berry's Maybelline every time I read his name? Just me? Ok.

Wolverine is starring in his very own movie that opens this week! It looks a lot like the other three movies he was in! Let's see how the stocky little Canadian X-Man stacks up on the hunkometer as we rate:

James Howlett aka Logan aka Wolverine

Costume/Appearance:

He's the best he is at what he does, but what he wears isn't pretty (see what I did there?).

For me the classic brown suit is the way to go. The yellow and blue with the black claw pattern has surpassed it as the most well-known Wolverine look, but it just isn't as nice.

BEEFY!

I know that the blue and yellow came first, and then was brought back, but come on. That brown suit looks great (or, at least, as great as it can look).

PART-TIME LANDSCAPER.

The basic elements of the costume are pretty much always the same: tight, sleeveless, belt, weird pointy mask, and gloves. The sleeveless aspect is nice because Wolvie has got some beefy arms. The mask is damn ridiculous though. In the 90s it tended to look extra ridiculous and extra pointy. I do like that his shirt comes off pretty much all the time. I would say that Wolverine spends more time being shirtless or naked than most superheroes (except, of course, Namor...Hercules...Silver Surfer...alright, a bunch). But Wolverine is the shortest one!

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THIS ONCE.

And on that note, his physical appearance can be summed up in one word: stocky. Actually two: stocky and hairy. Dude is a carpet. And the hair on his head is CRAZY. His personal style is casual, manly and consists mainly of leather jackets, tank tops, jeans and cowboy hats. Plus the ever-present cigar or cigarrette.

WOLVERINE'S PUFFS HAVE THREE 'F'S.

So in the end, I say he loses points for the mask, earns some for the sleeveless costume, earns some for the constant shirtlessness, loses some for the crazy hair, and gains a bunch for his macho style.

7/10

TWICE THE MAN YOU'LL EVER BE.

Personality:

I think 'gruff' is a pretty good word to use here. He can also easily be described as "the anti-Cyclops," which is maybe why I don't love Wolverine. I have always been a bit of a fan of Cyclops, wiener that he is. Wolverine joins the X-Men and is all assuming that he can steal Cyclops' girlfriend no problem because he's Wolverine and Cyclops is a little wiener who shoots lasers out of his eyes. In a way, that sort of bold self-confidence is sexy, and yes we would all love to see Jean going to town on Wolverine for a solid issue, but we know she's better off with Scott.

NOT HIS WIFE!

However, as we see with his various love affairs with Japanese women, Wolverine is pretty devoted and emotional when he wants to be. And he's good as a mentor to young X-Men like Kitty Pryde. Also in the "pro" department, he is very smart. And he's straightforward, which I can respect.

I LIKE HIS ATTITUDE!

I also respect that he is a proud Canadian (when not written by Jeph Loeb) and is a hockey fan. But he also strikes me as your typical stereotypical husband type who would sit around watching sports and drinking when he's not at work, and expecting you to bring him food. Frankly, I like to aim higher with my fantasy superhero husbands.

7/10

HULK PROBABLY DOES MIND.

Sexiness of Superpowers:

He can rapidly recover from basically any injury or illness, he has animal-like instincts, and he involuntarily had his skeleton covered in unbreakable adamantium which also gives him unbreakable retractable claws. According to his Wikipedia entry, it is believed that the only way to kill him is to decapitate him and remove his head from the vicinity of the body. Obviously, this is pretty sexy.

THE MAN CAN REALLY FILL OUT A TANKTOP.

Seriously, though, I think a guy who can take a bullet for you and it won't interrupt your date much is appealing. Apparently on said date he could also be decapitated by lazy attackers who leave the head on the ground next to the body, and you will still make it to the theatre having only missed the trailers. Not bad.

I do not, however, like thinking about holding hands with the guy and the claws suddenly pop out unexpectedly. And you would have to shower a lot because that guy can really, really smell you. And yet, he probably smells terrible. He doesn't strike me as a frequent bather.

NOW WITH LESS BODY HAIR!

So what I am saying is, the healing powers are sexy, the claws are scary, and the animal senses are weird.

7/10

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? NOTHING.

Day Job:

This one is tough because Wolverine has lived for, like, a billion years so he's had a few jobs. Most notably, he was a Canadian soldier, then secret agent, then experiment for the evil Canadian secret military project, Weapon X. I think my favourite thing about Wolverine is Weapon X. For one thing, there is no way Canada could afford to fund a secret military organization, much less an evil one. Maybe Canada could afford to coat a skeleton in nickel. Perhaps gravy. Certainly not something as expensive-sounding as adumantium. That's just silly.

THIS IS HOW I'D LIKE TO GO.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Wolverine! He doesn't really have a day job now. He splits his time between being an X-Man, an Avenger, a helper of Power Pack, and a sullen loner. Also, sometimes he goes undercover by wearing an eyepatch and calling himself "Patch." And the bad guys try not to hurt his feelings by letting him know that this is a terrible disguise.

"OH HEY WOLVERINE. WHAT'S WITH THE EYEPATCH?"

I mean, seriously. Patch?! It's like Clark Kent calling himself Glasses. Or Bruce Wayne calling himself "Without the Batman Costume."

Anyway, Patch, if that is your real name, which it isn't Logan, which isn't your real name either, James...Actually, Wolverine has some real identity crisis issues that might be annoying.

7/10

FROM WOLVERINE'S BRIEF CAREER AS A MODEL.

Cons:

Besides the fact that he's not the easiest guy to talk to, and the decades of pain he carries inside him, it's also wise to remember that Wolverine is basically an alcoholic. Plus, a lot of his girlfriends end up dead.

LOOKIN' GOOD!

 I'ma take off 3 points for that stuff. I think that's fair.

-3

Final Score: 25/40

SCHLIKT?

No, Wolverine, you're done. Consider yourself rated. And consider yourself equal to Cyclops on the hunkometer, you crazy Canuck.

This Week's Haul: Flash Back!

The Flash: Rebirth #1

I have made it pretty clear that I will buy anything that Geoff Johns writes, so I was pretty excited about this. Plus, I really enjoyed Green Lantern: Rebirth, so I was hoping that this would promise to be as good. The first issue of the story of Barry Allen's return starts with some blood spashing all over the page, just in case you forgot that Geoff Johns is writing it. It also features lots of "Welcome Back" parties and parades being set up in various locations on the same day (because, y'know, The Flash can make it to all of them no problem. Cute!). It also features a lot of Barry chatting with his old pal Hal Jordan, which I loved.

It's a very exciting first issue and I can't wait for the next one!

JSA #25

And since we're talking about Geoff Johns anyway, this is the penultimate issue of his very enjoyable run on JSA. It's also the finale of a pretty exciting Marvel family story featuring Crazy Black Adam, Crazier Isis, Slutty Mary Marvel, Powerless Billy Batson, and Pissed Off Shazam.

Speaking of the JSA, I highly recommend Johnathan's recent and important posts about whether or not the member of the Golden Age Justice Society would make the Legion of Super Heroes. I was laughing my ass off reading it, and my husband was like "what are you doing?" to which I had to reply "reading Johnathan's post about whether or not members of the Golden Age Justice League would be admitted into the Legion of Super Heroes...which is NOT AS NERDY AS IT SOUNDS!" Anyway, check them out here and here.

Jonah Hex #42

In this issue, young Jonah Hex is put through a merciless, abusive involuntary Batman-style training regimen by his crazy drunken father to toughen him up. As we all know, it worked. But that doesn't make it right.

Or does it?

Either way it makes for great reading!

I love how nearly every issue starts with some dudes who are like "Say your prayers, Hex, because you are going to die now." And I'm all like "Oh shit! Those guys are totally going to die SO HARD!" Good comics.

Captain America Comics 70th Anniversary Special #1

Holy hell. This was awesome. In general, I really love Captain America's origin story. And I really, really love Marcos Martin's art. But even I was surprised at how awesome the two things combined turned out to be. This is a definite must-own, people.

X-Men First Class Finals #3

Ok, the main story was really great and everything as usual, but I have to totally freak out here about the long and awesome Colleen Coover back-up story. She totally draws the most adorable Man-Thing ever! Check it out:

Pride and Prejudice #1

I didn't actually buy this or read it, I just flipped through it. I just want to say this: what if Colleen Coover had been the artist on this?

Awesome, right?

Other things I read this week: Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #3 (A rare treat! A perfect kids superhero comic, I say. If only it came out faster!), Amazing Spider-Man #590 (it's got the Fantastic Four in it!), and Franklin Richards: Son of a Genius: April Fools (hilarious!).

Things I haven't read yet: Doctor Doom and the Masters of Evil #3 (I forgot to buy it! Drat!) and Jersey Gods #3 (I just realized I haven't read issue #2 yet! Smack!).

This Week's Haul: Namor!

Hey everyone!

I got a whole lot of comics this week. Really, too many comics. But my computer is fixed and Photoshop is reinstalled, so I am able to share my thoughts with you once again. Here we go with a small selection of what I read this week.

Uncanny X-Men Annual #2

Namor fans rejoice!

I have been buying Uncanny X-Men every month for the better part of a year now. I have really enjoyed Matt Fraction's writing on the title, and have tried to overlook the artwork in the Greg Land issues.

This issue tells the sexy history between Emma Frost and Namor. And it's frigging beautiful! Both Daniel Acuna and Mitch Breitweiser provide stunning artwork, but you don't have to take my word for it!

Oh Namor. I missed you so.

Superman/Batman Annual #3

Blowing? Tandem? It must be Superman/Batman!

Len Wein steps in to write this year's S/B Annual (typically the only issue of S/B ever worth reading). It's a re-telling of the Composite Superman/Batman story and it is really entertaining. It kind of emphasizes my point that Superman/Batman should be a series of one-shots by a different creative team every month. Even if it was just re-telling of Silver Age stories, it would still be a much better comic than it is right now.

Getting back to this issue: great art, great banter, a couple of unfortunate and somewhat confusing colouring errors, but those are easy to overlook.

Especially when Superman is looking so cute leaning on a wall!

Awwww.

And Batman asks a tough question:

Um, well...now that you mention it...

Dr Doom and the Masters of Evil #1

Hey! A new all-ages comic by Paul Tobin! Sign me up!

I love stories from the villains' point of view, especially funny ones where they are paling around. This book has plenty of that.

Mysterio asking to borrow a car so he can get his computer fixed really cracks me up.

This is going to be yet another really great Marvel all-ages title, as far as I can tell. But, like many all-ages books, it will mostly be enjoyed by aged comic nerds.

Ghost Rider #31

Yet another totally awesome issue of Ghost Rider by Jason Aaron. Much like Captain America, Daredevil, or Jonah Hex, it's so good every month that I really don't have anything interesting to say about it.

Except...HOT Ghost Rider on Ghost Rider Action!!!!
 

Green Lantern #37

The Red Lanterns have really been grossing me out, I'm not going to lie, so I wasn't too excited about this issue. But it was actually pretty awesome. For one thing, Ivan Reis really threw down some great art. And the Hal Jordan-Sinestro rivalry was entertaining as usual.

Mysterius: The Unfathomable #1

Jeff Parker has a new series! And it's for...Wildstorm?!

Well, I don't usually have much reason to buy Wildstorm comics, but this is a good one. A really good one, as far as I can tell.

A mystic and a plucky young journalist-turned-assistant. That's a solid combination. Parker is one of my favourite writers, so it wasn't a tough decision to pick this up. And the art, by Tom Fowler, is really beautiful.

New original series are exciting!

This Week's Haul: So very sick

Welcome to Living Between Wednesdays...where we like our coffee black and our comic reviews late. I have been awful sick lately, but fortunately there were a lot of good comics to read. I have been very slowly writing these mini-reviews over the past few days, taking frequent nap breaks.

Super Friends #9
J.Bone not only did the cover for this issue, he did the interiors! Yay! It's Superman's birthday and everything is adorable, from Lex Luthor being cranky about not being invited to the party, to Batman explaining pinatas to the readers.

Amazing Spider-Man #578
Mark Waid teams up with Marcos Martin to bring us one of the most delightful comics I have ever read. This was seriously great stuff, the latest in a long series of great Spider-Man comics.

Terra #2
If you like hot naked ladies, then you will probably enjoy this. And even if you are more into well-written, nicely-drawn ladies, like I am, then you will also enjoy this.

Uncanny X-Men #504
And speaking of hot ladies, Terry and Rachel Dodson provide the art for this month's issue of Uncanny, and that made me very happy. Especially since this issue gives us a tour of Cyclops' horny psychosis, which is full of beautiful women made even more beautiful by Team Dodson's art. I'm glad I am reading X-Men comics again. It makes me feel like I'm 15.

Superman/Supergirl: Maelstrom #2
I just wanted to remind everyone that this series is great and the art is beautiful. Look at that cover! She's tying her hair up! Just like girls do when they are exercising!

Supergirl #35
I am loving this New Krypton cross-over story so far. Not only because there are so many talented people working on it, but because it is non-stop and has been coming out on time. Every week we get a new piece of the story via Superman, Action Comics, Supergirl, or a number of fantastic one-shot specials. It's fluid, it's interesting, and it's fun. And Sterling Gates is doing a great job writing Supergirl.

The Age of the Sentry #3
I can't even tell you how much I am loving this series. And a good thing is made even better this month because there is a very long back-up story drawn by Colleen Coover! And it features Milly the Model! Seriously, Jeff Parker. You are killing me.

Ghost Rider #29
My love of Jason Aaron's run on Ghost Rider runs deep. This issue gave us what he has been building to since he started: a big ol' battle between Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch! Sweet Ghost Rider on Ghost Rider action!

Ambush Bug #4
It's a good time to be an Ambush Bug fan. Not only has this series been a lot of fun (and badly needed because there is so much DC craziness to make fun of right now), but it looks like we're finally going to get the long-rumoured Showcase Presents Ambush Bug collection in February! Yay!

If you have an extra $9 you could do worse than picking these up.

This is a little late, but there were three comics that came out last week that I'd like to bring everyone's attention to because they were good and probably overlooked.

Superman/Supergirl Maelstrom #1

If you have been enjoying recent Supergirl comics as much as I have, then you should definitely check this out. If I had to say when it takes place in continuity, I would say sometime in the last year, before the Death of the New Gods and certainly before New Krypton or a lot of recent Superman events. Supergirl is still heavy into her self-doubt phase, and Superman has decided to help her out with that.

The main premise is that a Apokaliptikan babe named Maelstrom is in love with Darkseid and is hoping to impress him by killing Superman. She goes to Earth, destroys a chunk of Metropolis, and makes Supergirl sad. It's all very well-written (Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray) and beautifully drawn (Phil Noto). It's one of those mini-series that you can easily ignore, but if you are a fan of Supergirl at all, this looks like it's going to be a really high-quality mini-series starring her, and that alone is something to celebrate.

Terra #1

It's been a Palmiotti/Gray-heavy week for me. For the record, Jonah Hex was also awesome this week.

I stopped reading Teen Titans months ago. And I REALLY don't care about the Terror Titans or whatever. I definitely would not have picked this up if it weren't drawn by Amanda Conner, who is fantastic and doesn't draw nearly enough books. So if I have to read a comic about a charcter I don't care about to see her art, I will do it.

But this actually was really enjoyable. The Justice Society, and, in particular, Power Girl played a big role in it, so that was good. Everyone looked really hot, especially Terra. And I love the fun stuff that happens in the background of Conners' art, and her facial expressions.

X-Men/Spider-Man #1

This comic was BEAUTIFUL. Mario Alberti throws down some gorgeous art for this story which is set in the sixties. The comic tells a story of one of the first meetings between the original X-Men and Spider-Man. Christos Gage provides fun dialog and lots of humour. AND...Kraven the Hunter is the main villain!

My understanding is that this 4-part series will move out of the sixties and tell a story that spans the last several decades. I think this is going to be a great mini-series.