Wait'll You See My Mega Rod

This Saturday past was the Strange Adventures Halloween party. There were some truly excellent costumes.

In defiance of the Death of the New Gods, I went as Barda:

That gives you some idea of what her armor would look like if it were really, really shitty. And made mostly of bristol board, electrical tape, and some metallic gold track pants.

Also, I had to wear a hat under the helmet to keep the helmet from falling off. You can see the hat pretty clearly in most pictures, which is too bad. The belt also kept falling down.

I wasn't the only New God! Orion in da house!

Check out the Kirby hand happening in the next photo:

Here I am with my bitches:

Aren't their costumes so cute? Check it out:

Awwww. It was a bowling party, by the way. Thus the bowling shoes on everyone.

Two Harrison Fords are better than one!:

That's Matt as Han Solo, and Ben as Indiana Jones. Not bad, boys.

Winner of best Female costume went to the Ultimate Warrior:

Best male costume went to Jayne from Firefly:

Pee Wee is looking on there. Here's a better shot of him:

Mr and Mrs Skeleton won Most Uncomfortable, but really they deserved so much more. These are some great costumes:

The eyes glowed, too, but you can't really see it there.

The New Gods had the heavy burdon of tallying the votes and announcing the winners. Here's Barda and Orion crunching the numbers:

We left the bowling ally to go to a house party. First a few of us stopped in at Wendy's:

Then on to the house party, at which point my memories become very hazy. I do know that Tigger costume + Superman Returns mask + Beard = scariest thing I have ever seen:

Apparently I was wearing that mask later. I don't recall this, but there are pictures.

I'd love to see photos of all of your halloween costumes! Hook me up with some links!

This Week's Haul: Featuring That Guy From the Cover of Action Comics #1

Well, what a surprise. This week the reviews are late again. But this time it wasn't my fault! For some reason I am having a hell of a time uploading photos to Blogger. I don't know if that's my internet connection's fault, or Blogger, but it certainly is slowing me down.

Let's get down to it:

Action Comics # 857

Y'know, it really doesn't get much more fun than this.

The Bizarro Justice League showed up at the end of the last issue, and I could not wait to see more of them. I was not disappointed. Check out Bizarro Batman:

And Bizarro Green Lantern:

Oh man, I hope he shows up in Sinestro Corps.

Bizarro is able to use his "Bizarro Vision" to make more Bizarros. So he makes more league members, which is awesome:

That Green Arrow kills me. I kept that second panel on there because I love Lex's sinister, backwards "Hello."

Superman develops a new power: "Superman Vision," which gives Pa Kent super powers. It's great:

I really loved the reaction of the Bizarro citizens of Metropolis when Superman goes about fixing up their city:

Especially that guy with the noose. So great.

The art, of course, was beautiful and hilarious throughout the book. This issue ends Eric Powell's run, which is sad. I am really looking forward to the Gary Frank run that starts next week, though.

Here's a parting shot of Bizarro Action Comics #1:

Fabulous.

Superman #669

Although I feel that Busiek's run on Superman has been largely underrated, mostly due to the tall shadow cast by All-Star Superman, I just cannot bring myself to care about this storyline.

Who Is The Third Kryptonian? Well, there are three right there on the cover. Oh, you mean besides them. And Power Girl. And, like, the dead Supergirl. And Zod. And the rest.

Also, the third Kryptonian, as it turns out, is someone I have never heard of and don't care about. So there is really no excuse for this hideous cover. I mean, she seems like a cool lady and everything, but...with all the cool stuff going on in the DCU right now, I just cannot possibly care about this.

Superman/Batman #41

This comic will make fanfic writers blush. It's just so damn porny. And I'm not just talking about the cover. Which I COULD be.

So last we left our heroes, Superman was being controlled by Darkseid and Batman was really, really horny. This is thanks to Orion's slutty wife, Bekka.

As it turns out, she has this curse where men are uncontrollably attracted to her, and she feels the same way toward them. The sadder the men are inside, the stronger the connection, thus Orion and now Batman. Plus, she doesn't really wear any clothes, so that can't help. If she really didn't want this to keep happening, she might try a sweatsuit. Or a Mayor McCheese costume or something. Anyway, she has poor Batman in her clutches. He reminds us that he is "aroused beyond all reason" (!!!) in her presence. She says that the only cure...is doin' it. For real.

When she gets that feeling, she needs sexual healing.

*snort* "I haven't felt a heart as hardened as his until I met you." Uh, say what?

Oh poor Batman. The only way he can solve his problems is to nail that beautiful woman. Batman's all "Well, alright then...NO! No I can't!" Frankly I don't see why not. Just get it done and move on. I'm tired of hearing about it.

But Batman is noble and exercises self-discipline, as usual. The result is that Bekka gets herself killed.

Wow. I think that basically counts as a refridgerator, right?

Batman can't solve all his problems by sexing them. He still needs to find Superman. I guess we'll resolve that in the next issue.

Let's get to the good stuff. Superman is experiencing a semi-dream state where his life is flashing before his eyes. All sorts of crazy characters from the past are popping up. It's great! Check it out:

Love that Starro!

But wait, it gets better:

Yeah, that's right. More than one reference to that guy from the cover of Action #1 in the same week! Also...Zebra Batman!

And look at what Superman is wearing! Customized hospital gown!!! So cute!

I think this story wraps up in the next issue. Then the guy who is writing the current TERRIBLE arc on Batman Confidential is taking over for another unnecessarily long six-issue story. So it continues to not look good for this series.

So, this was a pretty ridiculous issue. The best part was probably when American Idol judge Randy Jackson sneaked up on Desaad:

Teen Titans #52

Teen Titans is now officially a better book than JLA. Crazy times we live in.

Two issues in, I am saying right now that Sean McKeever is going to rock this thing. I already love the way he writes all of the characters, and jumping right into this crazy story that features the current JLA and future versions of the Titans themselves is fantastic fun. Thumbs up.

I mean, just look at this page! Solid gold:

And this is the last page:

Last issue ended with Robin pointing a gun at his own head, and this month we get this. Not bad, McKeever. Not bad.

I've added this title to my pull list, and I don't think I've ever had it on there before. Teens!

Green Lantern Corps #17

That is one of the busiest covers I have ever seen in my life. Ask me tomorrow what is on the cover of this week's Green Lantern Corps. I will say "I don't remember. A big mess?"

Inside, the battle between good and evil rages...at a molasses pace. How many times have we been told "Lethal Force Activated," or, "They're heading for New York City"?

Anyway, the important thing is that Kilawog crushes a guy with an AIRCRAFT CARRIER:

And Sodam Yat (aka - So Damn Hot) gets a promotion:

And a terrible new haircut.

Next up: Ion vs Superman Prime!

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Superman Prime

I wasn't so hot for the first two Tales of the Sinestro Corps comics, but when I saw that Geoff Johns was writing this one, I picked it up.

And I'm glad I did. Superboy(man?) Prime is just a really fun villain because he is so damn childish. I have really been enjoying him througout Sinestro Corps, as I did during Infinite Crisis. Johns clearly loves writing him.

SB Prime visits the Bart Allan memorial, and is a total dick:

Beyond this, though, we get a really nice back story for this notorious guy. One that actually makes you feel sorry for him. More importantly, we get a very clear and easy-to-understand origin story, and I applaud everyone involved for that alone.

Man, that kid is messed up.

Blue Beetle #20

I'm just going to say it: this issue really confused me.

I love this series, and I love the Sinestro Corps cross-over, but this just did not work for me.

Basically Peacemaker gets turned into this guy, thanks to a combination of a scarab and a Sinestro Corps ring:

And Blue Beetle has to fight him. I guess that's pretty straightforward, but I was still confused.

Some of the GL Corps show up, which is entertaining:

Oh, and Peacemaker dies at the end. It's sad. And sudden.

I enjoyed Jaime more in Teen Titans this week than in his own title.

Green Arrow Year One #6

And thus ends a very excellent mini-series. Well done, guys.

Not only is this a gritty and exciting read with fantastic art, it gives a very believable origin story for Green Arrow. Not that I require realism in my origin stories, but for someone like Green Arrow, whose abilities start and stop with being really good at shooting arrows, it's kinda nice.

He's totally badass and tough, which makes us see what Black Canary sees in the guy:

Also badass, a pregnant lady with a machine gun:

I could have lived without the Oliver-delivering-a-baby scene at the end, but whatever.

X-Men First Class #5

Hey, it's my new favourite comic!

This time they run into the Hulk, with hilarious results:

This has a nice little Hulk origin, which is one of the great things about this series. New readers can learn about other Marvel characters as the first class of the X-Men run into them for the first time. It's brilliant.

There are some really great Hulk facial expressions in this issue. The art, as usual, is great:

And Angel, as usual, is very funny:

I guess what I mean is, Jeff Parker, as usual, is very funny.

And if that's not enough, there's another adorable Colleen Coover back-up in this issue. I will show you the first panel, because that will be enough to hook you:

If you aren't reading this comic, you're a damn fool. Add it to your pull list right now.

The Flash #233

Wally totally throws down in this issue. It's awesome. The rest of the JLA shows up at his house for a little group intervention. They are concerned about the way Wally is leading his kids into battle:

Wally's like "Hey, I have an idea: shut up!" He thinks they are trying to physically take his kids away. Which is understandable, based on Superman's choice of words. Roy sets him straight, and then Wally totally serves Batman:

Ohhhhh snap, Wally!

Then Wally and Linda explain their reasoning, which is pretty solid. It certainly shuts the JLA up, anyway:

I love how Batman's all "Ok, cool, my bad," and backs away slowly.

That's a nice group hug.

Daredevil #101

Man, this was so, so depressing. And awesome.

Milla's in a prison hospital after killing someone she pushed into an oncoming subway car. Matt Murdock is looking very tired and haggard, which can be owed to the fact that he spends his days fighting his wife's case, and his nights beating the holy hell out of criminals while trying to find Mr Fear. Fear is responsible for Milla's drug-induced insanity, and Matt gonna make him pay.

But until then, he's gonna brood like a pro.

Good thing Dakota is totally rad and isn't gonna take it. This scene is really satisfying:

I love that. "Duh, you're Daredevil. Just break into her room and be with her, dummy."

So he does. And it's heartbreakingly sweet:

I love this series so much, and I love Daredevil so much as a character, but he's such a train wreck. We know that he doesn't even really love Milla that much, but he just needs to be passionate about something every single moment of his life. He doesn't need to be with her, he just needs to care about something. This is a real downer of a comic book. And I love it.

Alright, that's all the comics I can stand to review. This photo uploading thing is super annoying. Hopefully it will go smoother next time.

Review of Genetic Predispositions, By Johnathan

Okay: this post is about something I noticed while reading Detective Comics No. 90 the other day, but I can't just up and tell you what that thing was. I have to lay out a sequence of events for you - trust me, it's the only logical way.

The plot revolves around the riverboat Mississippi Mermaid and its 'celebrated water carnival'. Seems every time the durned thing comes to town, thugs clean out the whole place. Thugs that all buy their suits at the same place, I might add.

When the sheriff (note the purple vest and hat, the bushy white mustache) comes to check out the suspicious boat-people, he is foiled by their air-tight, witness-laden alibis. Since I'm not really paying attention to the mystery aspect of this story I'll tell you now that the whole scheme's dependent on a clock that speeds up and slows down to make the show's intermission seem shorter than it actually is or something like that - evidently this clock is so awesome to tell time with that none of the party-goers bother to look at their watches during the whole production.

Reading of the robbery in Carver Town, Dick and Bruce head for the next stop on the river...

Dalestown! Noted for its opulent hotel lobbies and abundant supply of nogoodniks in matching suits.

Batman gets trounced, wakes up, rounds up the sheriff, and heads boat-ward.

Wha? May I say, Mister Sheriff, that I have seen your like before? Well, I suppose that perhaps Dalestown and Carver Town are small and close enough to share asingle, purple-clad law-enforcement gent, right? Sure, it's totally possible.

Anyway, the Dynamic Duo keep on following the ship, and one week later (so: one week's travel down what is presumably the Mississippi River), in the scenic town of Andre's Bend (snicker), the bandits strike again. Once more, the law gets involved:

The purple-vested, white-mustached, Colonel Sanders tie-wearing law, who seems not to know Batman from Adam.

So: Possibly two but probably three identical sheriffs in three river towns along the Mississippi. My theory is that the American South contains a nomadic clan of law-enforcement types. As they walk the land they provide sheriffs and other forms of lawmen to towns in need of regulation - these three happened to be long lost triplets from that very tribe. That or the artist liked drawing sheriffs like this - this guy actually shows up all over the place in Detective Comics of the time.

JOHN APPROVED

World's Finest #71: Teaming Up To Confuse Lois

Showcase Presents: World's Finest finally came out last week. If you buy only one book in your life, make it this one.

I haven't done a page-by-page analysis of a comic for awhile. Re-reading this one in the Showcase book reminded me that it is AWESOME.

Behold the greatness that is World's Finest #71!

Well that was bad luck, Superman. But maybe you should be more careful about where you get changed. Well-lit hallways aren't the best hiding spots. And you should probably actually step back into that "convenient doorway," not just stand in front of it. Also...you can change at Super speed! Come on, man! How bad do you want this?

Superman saves Batman and Robin, of course. And Batman, being the full-time sweetheart that he is, only cares about Superman's problems. Mostly because, apparently, Superman was whining to him about Lois seeing him getting changed.

As always, Batman has a plan. A crazy plan!

I know you are probably thinking that, while Superman could plausibly pass as Batman, what with the mask and all, Bruce might have a tough job posing as the Man of Steel. For one thing, his entire head is exposed. For another...no powers. Because Batman is awesome, he lets none of these small details stop him.

Even though anyone would say that Superman has the easier job here, he fails miserably at being Batman. Behold the first couple of panels of Superman being Batman:

And there he stays for the remainder of the comic. (I love that second panel so much).

Bruce starts Operation: Confuse Lois by blatantly changing in front of her:

Lois can't be played like that. She's too smart. She sees Superman's crazy scheme and she raises one:

A date with Lois Lane is a SCARY date!

Let's see what happens on the Lion Picnic date:

A date with Bruce Wayne means a date where no less than three lions get punched in the mouth.

Bruce actually offers this explanation later:

That actually sounds pretty complicated, Bruce.

Lois has an even more insane plan up her sleeve. She goes on another date with Bruce, this time to the art gallery. Check out this slick move:

First of all, I love Bruce's art interpretation. Secondly, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LOIS?! There is a line between sane and crazy that you crossed a loooong time ago.

And wait until you hear Bruce's explanation of this one:

Wow. When exactly did he do all that?

That's an excellent point that Robin is making. The same thing occurred to me.

Ok, this comic gets more excellent right now:

Yeah, I can't think of a single reason why Superman might not be able to help Lois move. Just make up anything! "Sorry, Lois, but I had to stop an Earthquake/visit another planet/stop a super villain/save people/I'm Superman and I don't really have to help you move."

But all Bruce can come up with is this:

By the way, Bruce does actually end up looking exactly like Superman when in costume. This is thanks to what has to be POUNDS of theatre make-up. He must look insane.

I love Bruce explaining that Superman patronizes local businessmen unnecessarily. I like the idea that Superman maintains a tight network of business contacts.

You think that Bruce can't lift that moving van, but look!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: HOW MUCH FREE TIME DOES BATMAN HAVE?!

I'll tell you: enough to construct a cardboard truck, a complicated balloon system to keep it afloat, and some sort of steering mechanism. AND paper mache replicas of ALL of Lois's possessions. That must have been a late night for the Dynamic Duo.

Let's take a moment to remember that, during all of this, Superman is slumped, unconscious, in a corner somewhere wearing a Batman costume.

Lois is more determined than ever to prove that Superman is out to trick her. In the process she almost gets run off the road by her own thought balloon:

She finally discovers poor Superman's nearly-dead body:

That is a very confusing set of panels. "It's Batman! It's Superman! It's Clark!" I mean, there's your answer right there. If you can look at Superman and say with certainty that it is Clark Kent, then clearly Superman = Clark.

These next panels are adorable:

I wonder if this is the point where it occurs to Bruce that his brilliant plan is actually pretty stupid. Just look what happened: Superman is almost dead, Bruce has to carry a very heavy man to safety, and EVERYONE is confused.

Oh, and now Lois thinks Bruce Wayne is Superman. Which isn't good for anyone.

But don't worry. They have a plan for that too:

Oh man I love it when Superman winks at me. I totally blush and start giggling every time. I can't even imagine how exciting it would have been for the kids this comic was written for.

I also love that Lois isn't buying any of this. She's just "Whatever, Superman. You and Bruce can play your stupid games all you want. I'm not dumb."

This is just a taste of the total and complete awesomeness that lives inside Showcase Presents: World's Finest. I mean, we haven't even started talking about the Caveman From Krypton yet.

This Week's Mini-Haul

I'm back from Toronto, aka The Big...City?

Anyway, it was fun and we played and people liked us and we met Wanda Jackson and she was rad and I ate lots of good food and I finally went to The Silver Snail and it was awesome.

And I saw a raccoon walking down the street!

Now I'm back in Hali. Eating Kraft Dinner. Wishing I had cable so I could watch the Red Sox game. GO SOX!!!

Comics were great this week. I didn't get a chance to do proper reviews, but here are some quickies:

Brave and the Bold: Ohmygod. This was so good. This series is, seriously, perfect. Wonder Woman and Power Girl together, and they were so distinct from each other. It was great.

Catwoman: I was really scared for this issue because I kinda knew what was going to happen. I don't like that they are writing off Selina's daughter, but I am REALLY glad that Zatanna didn't mindwipe Selina or anything. That would have suuuuuuuucked. So I hate that the kid is gone, but it was done in the best way possible.

Aquaman: Sniff! Farewell, Aquaman. I loved you so.

Justice League of America: It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. Actually, it was completely forgettable.

Birds of Prey: This was tons of fun. I am looking forward to McKeever writing this series, but if Bedard was going to stay on as the writer for a while I wouldn't complain.

Captain America: The more Winter Soldier the better, I say! So I loved this issue. But, like I was saying in the shop the other day, it would be pretty surprising if Ed Brubaker ever wrote a bad issue. And if he did, I would assume it was brilliant satire.

Marvel Adventures The Avengers: Ty Templeton! Between this and the Avengers Classic comic this week, I just really love the Avengers. (Note: Avengers Classic would make an excellent golf tournament title).

Metamorpho Year One: Y'all should be checking this out if you're not. It's really good!

And that's all I got to. I still have to read Umbrella Academy, Countdown and Death of the New Gods.

And now a scene from my bedroom last night...

I love you, Winter Soldier.

Sigh. Why are all the best men fictional?