Podcast - Episode 32: Captain America (1979)

Dave and I spent Valentine's Day watching the 1979 Captain America TV movie together. It was...not a good movie. But it WAS a good time.

We switched up how we do our recording this week and now I am in charge of mixing and editing and such and I think it sounds pretty good for my first kick at the can! Next week it will sound even better! Full disclosure: I do a fade-in at the beginning because there was something weird happening with the headphones so I am full-on yelling into the microphone for the first few seconds. Then I mellow out.

So, yes, the 1979 Captain America movie is amazing. But before we get to that, we talk about some other fun things, like the whole Rob Liefeld NY Times fiasco. If you haven't read it yet, here it is. He seems like a real sweetheart.

And if you want to read about Todd McFarlane's HARD R HORROR Spawn movie, you can check that article out here.

By the way, if you aren't familiar with what Dave and I are talking about when we mention the DC Super Hero Girls line, this is what we mean:

You can watch little cartoons on the site. I can't make a decision on this stuff. If I had a daughter, is this something I would be excited for her to watch. I honestly don't know! Tell me what to think!

Here's that awesome looking Dr. Strange Pop Vinyl toy we talk about:

And here are the new toys that I am saving up to buy, because do my kids really need shoes?

More info on those toys here.

There was a new Civil War trailer this week. It aired during the Super Bowl and was definitely the highlight of the game (well, this and Beyonce). It's about 40 seconds of awesomeness, including a lot of new Bucky footage!

I am so excited I can barely function. I mean, LOOK!!!!!:

THIS IS A REAL MOVIE!!!!!

I mention the hilarious (and heartbreaking) Winter Soldier memories mission in the Lego Marvel's Avengers video game. You can see that mission in this helpful gamer's video:

Here's a little taste of that Civil War Prelude comic, which you can only buy digitally for now. You can find it on Comixology here. Here's a little taste of Bucky in his Romanian hide-out, remembering the bad times:

Ok, so this Captain America movie. As you may recall, I bought the DVD that collects both of the 1979 movies for Dave for Christmas. Here is the trailer for the first one:

From that trailer you might think this movie is a reasonably fast paced. It is not. It is the slowest movie ever. Like, when an oil truck is dumping crude onto the road as part of a (bad) plot to kill Steve Rogers, they show ALL of the oil dumping out of the truck. They paid for that oil, and we're gonna watch every last drop of it hit the pavement.

This movie did not leave much on the cutting room floor, I'm guessing.

There's a clip reel that has highlights from both movies. Based on it, the second movie (any clip where he's wearing the more classic looking Captain America suit) looks a lot more action packed:

Here's the thing about the costume in the first movie: the shorts are WAY too tight for ol' Reb Brown:

And this is how he looks as Steve Rogers:

I forgot to mention on the show that his eyebrows were such a mess. I was obsessed with fixing them.

We get very few sexy moments. This beach scene was one, I guess:

That's Steve Rogers doing what Steve likes doing best: lounging around.

I didn't even catch that he's an ex-Marine in this movie. I have no idea when they mentioned that. Because I say on the show that they should have at least made him a soldier or a former soldier. I guess they did. But now he just wants to drive his sweet van and look at the ocean. His sweet van, by the way:

But, man, that scene where Steve is given his shield for the first time? I wish I could find a clip because I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. Here's a still:

So, yes. Amazing. And so boring. It's hard to believe this was ever made. Good job, 1970s.

That's it for this week. I hope you find this episode sounds better than usual. We are going to start using a mixing board and XLR mics next week, so that should sound even better! Thanks for listening!

Podcast - Episode 3: Our Favourite and Least Favourite DC Characters

There were a few little technical problems with our podcast this week so there are a couple of awkward edits. It also runs a little long, but that's only because it's so jam packed with sparkling wit and brilliant insight. We promise not to make a habit of 90 minute episodes.

Too much Marvel talk lately has prompted us to talk about our favourite DC characters. Dave and I each roll out our lists of our top ten favourite DC characters, and our five least favourite. My list is not super surprising, but Dave's is straight bonkers (my opinion). You'll notice something weird happening before we talk about Blue Beetle. Dave had to re-record the intro to it and we lost a bit of the talk. Just know that I love Ted Kord.

We talk about the upcoming Image titles announced at Image Expo. You can check out the full list with descriptions on the Image site here: July 2015 Image Expo Announcements

You can see the Entertainment Weekly Batman vs Superman cover and images here: Exclusive Batman vs Superman Photos

We finally début The Renner Report this week (with a stinger that makes me laugh out loud). You can read the super insane Jeremy Renner Playboy interview here: if you want to read about him "kindly choking" people out. Please read it. Please.

When we were talking about our favourite DC characters we mentioned Halloween 2007 when I dressed as Barda and Dave dressed as Orion. I promised I'd post pictures, so here are some:

Serving Kirby face.

New Gods gotta eat!

If you are interested in reading the list of my top 10 favourite DC characters that I wrote for Mondo Magazine in 2007, you can check it out here. It's pretty close to this list I made for this podcast. My thoughts are much more coherent when written down.

I've thought about it since the last episode and I have decided that Guy Gardner should be played by Jamie Bamber in the upcoming Green Lantern(s?) movie. Let's re-brand Guy as a very hot ginger!

I mean, right?

A New Product at the Spa of Haunts!

Hey Teens! 

Do you suffer from unsightly acne? Do the other kids call you Crater Cranium, Butter Face or Just Plain Ugly? Now you can get clear skin in four easy steps!

1. Mix a Mint Julep.

2. Throw the drink in your own face (with vigor).

3. Turn into a horrific monster.

4. Finish with a cleansing toner.

What's that? Yes, I said "monster."

You'll turn into a ghoul who sucks the souls of living, or a zombie who hungers for warm, young flesh or even grotesque Frankenstein!

But with smooth, clear skin you can take anyone you want to the drive in (and murder them!)

Nineties Week: My computer was rollin' like it was 1995

Man, I had a rough time posting this. My computer was not working in every way possible, which seemed timely for nineties week. But aren't we supposed to be past that now? Shouldn't my computer be psychically linked to me? Shouldn't it just know what I want it to do?

Anyway, I didn't read every title in my stack of nineties comics as my fellow blogger, Dave, so bravely did. I mean, there were three X titles in there, and I'm not going to read that in a regular week. But here's a sampling.

The Spectacular Spider-man #180

I was expecting a fun Spider-man story, but instead it was an issue where Harry Osborne has an internal psychological fist fight with his Dad and with Peter. I guess it was a metephor and Harry was really fighting himself, Batman Ego-style? Poor Harry. He was really losing it and I was concerned that he may harm himself.

That was kinda messed up, but it seemed like Owly after the terrible shit I witnessed on the first page.

UM, WHUT? That is nine kinds of fucked up.

X Factor # 70

This issue is an epilogue, so not much happens. Professor X is in a coma or something, and everyone's upset. But he wakes up in the end and everyone's okay. Wolverine extinguishes and cigarette by swallowing it. The X-Men's costumes are super fugly.

This issue did highlight that strange nineties trend where the sexiest part of a woman was considered to be the upper leg/side area revealed by a costume where the leg holes is cut almost to the lady's bust line. The leg/side/hip. Was that called something, like the muffin top? The pear-neck?

Avengers #338

The story was called "Infections Compulsions," 'cause the nineties were gross, and I have no idea what happened. In fact, I had to wiki almost every member of the Avengers team. Who were these people? And what were they doing? They were in space...or something? And fighting? I felt like I was deciphering an ancient text that may hold all the clues to what will happen in the next Marvel cross-over.

But this issue did have an editorial page that feature this:

THE COOLOMETER!!!!

I don't even know where to start! Sushi and Twin Peaks are not particularly cool? Don't rollerblades and ponytails on men normally go together? Infinity Gauntlet is clearly forever cool. And I like that Quasar is cool. Quasar totally strolls into the malt shop with sunglasses and a leather jacket on and is all, "S'up ladies?"

Justice League Quarterly #4

This was fun! This was the much-talked-about silly era of the JLA, right? The first story follows the Injustice League in a wacky caper to make some money. In the second story Guy Gardiner and some other JLA member that can only be described as relics, cruise around a psychic fair scaring the fake-weirdos by showing them some authentic powers, and then dying laughing. Nice!

Strangely, a whopping ten pages of this issue is devoted to "CaTales," following the hilarious adventures of the JLA cat. And he's no Streaky—he's just a smelly old cat that gets into trouble. I love a cat comic, so I'm not complaining but it wasn't the action-packed JLA that I'm used to.

In the story this panel is from, the Elongated Man had to give him a bath! Haha!

Outlaws  # 1

Hey, remember Outlaws? No? Anyone? Dave? This was apparently a six-part mini-series about a Robin Hood-style hero and his gang of outlaws who had all been horribly abused by the king of wherever it was set. Anyway, it was a fun read, in an unchallenging sort of way.The art was bad though, and it reminded me of every comic brought into Strange Adventures by a totally crazy person who thinks they've invented a franchise-worthy character with "Superior Man."

The best/worst/best again thing that came from my 1991 comics time capsule was a flyer for a con that took place in Wolfville, Nova Scotia.

The schedule featured a midnight filking session. FILKING. Look it up and cower at the nerdliness.

Anyway, the conclusion I've come to is that the nineties weren't all that bad. Or more accurately, that lots of comics in the two thousands blow too. We still see brutal fashion, terrible butt-flossy costumes on ladies, confusing plots and money-grabbing crossovers.

But at least in the two thousands, I'm old enough to buy beer. And that makes reading crappy comics way more fun.

And the award for most unfortunate layout decision goes to...

This month's Previews!

Slow clap, Previews. Slow clap.

JLA: Cry for Supergirl

 I had a really busy Wednesday and Thursday, so I was late reading my comics this week. But I did want to mention this:

From left to right: Hero! Hero! Hero! Hero! Boobs!

Aw man! Surely DC is not doing this. Not after they have worked so hard and earned my praise for the last year or two for their complete turn-around of the Supergirl charcacter. She is no longer DC's teenage blow-up doll, but instead a complex, strong hero who is far more than a pair of boobs in a halter top.

So any excitement that I had that this promo image implies that Supergirl is going to be a member of the Justice League is overshadowed by the fact that the only women on the page is an isolated pair of boobs. I hate when a woman's head is cut off in an ad or promo image, and it happens all the time. Nevermind the fact that it looks like the four male heroes in the picture are just staring at Supergirl's rack.

Boooooo, DC. Boooooooo.