Friendly, Neighbourhood...Thing

I know ads for totally absurd merchandise are common place in any Marvel comic, but seriously:

 

What is this?

No, really? What is it?

These are my best guesses.

Salad Tongs.

Melon baller.

Ultra safe scissors?

Or some sort of medical tool? Foresceps? Or...uh...a speculum?

Ugh, chilling stuff.

 

Please help me out. The more I think about it, the creepier the possibilities.