Podcast - Episode 38: Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice

Man.

So we saw Batman v Superman and thankfully Dave and I didn't have to pay for it (thanks Cal!). Johnathan Munroe joins us this week and he DID have to pay for it (sorry Johnathan!).

Johnathan didn't hate the movie as much as Dave or myself, but he sure didn't like it. Dave couldn't find much to like in it, despite being optimistic going in, and I just hated it. HATED IT.

Here's the thing about Superman and Batman, guys. I mean, I didn't think we still needed to go over this after nearly 100 years of character development on these two, but here goes:

These are aspirational characters. They represent the best of humanity. Humanity. That's important to keep in mind. Because this movie has NONE. Here's what the characters should be:

Superman is all-powerful, but never scary. His goodness is what makes him a hero. He is better than us, but it was mostly learned here on Earth, his adopted home. His values come from Johnathan and Martha Kent, from his Kryptonian parents who made saving the life of their son their final act before dying, and from the wholesome naiveté of small town America. He doesn't need to help us, he doesn't even need to stay here, but he will because he believes in us.

The core of Batman's character is, and always needs to be, hope. He doesn't do what he does because he hates criminals. He does it because he wants humans to be better. And that is why it is so important that he doesn't kill. Ever. Even the most bloodthirsty criminals get a chance at reform and redemption.

Superman teaches us patience, kindness, humility, and concern for our fellow humans. Batman teaches us determination, perseverance, ingenuity, and sacrifice. Together they should be overwhelmingly inspirational, and anything but cynical.

So, anyway, this movie had none of that and was garbage.

Before we get to talking about that, we talk a bit about DC Rebirth, which you can Google, as well as Daredevil: season 2 (Dave finished it, and I am still only up to episode 4), and Jeremy Renner's announcement that he is totally down for a Hawkeye Netflix series.

Oh, and I saw The Bronze! And I really liked it! And I forgot to mention this on the podcast, but J.Bone drew some really great Lance Tucker art (that's Sebastian Stan's character in The Bronze, guys). Check it out:

Sebastian's sex scene body double liked it! That's something!

I am exhausted from thinking about Batman v Superman. I am so glad it is behind me forever. Enjoy the episode! Warning: you can hear the sound of a cat barfing in the background. It's appropriate.

Podcast - Episode 13: Villains

This week we are talking about villains! All kinds of villains!

Dave and I are drinking beer out of bottles during this podcast, and you can REALLY hear it every time we set them down on the desk. I apologize for that. We will go back to drinking beer out of cans next time. But we WILL NOT stop drinking beer during the recording of these podcasts.

There is actually a ton of background noise on this episode, but that's the only one that's our fault.

Here's the episode!

You get the origin story of Dave and my friendship this week and it makes me look super lame (hint: it involves me buying Jeph Loeb comics from Dave). That story Dave tells is probably set twelve or thirteen years ago, when I was 100% cool and not at all awkward. I will say that Dave did not let on at the time that he thought my taste in comics was terrible, and was nothing but helpful and welcoming. And that's why I still read (better) comics today!

I checked, by the way, and I couldn't find my old university cartoon strip anywhere. I even searched my old Livejournal! My LIVEJOURNAL, guys! It was so embarrassing! Maybe next time I'm in Sackville, New Brunswick I'll see if they have old copies of the school paper in the archive or something. Unless one of our listeners has a bunch of copies of the Mount Allison University newspaper from 2001-2002? It's the world's loss, I guess, if it's gone forever.

Dave and I talk a lot about Captain America: White this week. We probably could have talked a lot more about it. Fortunately there will be more issues! Oh man.

So here are those panels we were talking about. First the Nick Fury one that made me almost actually die laughing:

And the the super awkward Bucky-and-Cap on a motorcycle panel:

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Weird, Tim Sale. Very weird.

As we mention, Jeph Loeb has kind of a long history of unintentional homoeroticism. It's what keeps me reading!

Dave mentioned that I post kind of a lot of images of Sebastian Stan on these podcast blog posts. Noted!

Here's that rad Sebastian Stan Collider interview where he gives Zack Snyder the business:

And here is a pic of him at NASA being cute:

And here is a video of him at NASA being cute:

Oh, and here is the cute sketch of him that J.Bone did:

A wee Sebastian Stan face. I stink at likenesses but I think this is close. #sebastianstan #drawing #jbone

A photo posted by J.Bone (@originaljbone) on

Aw, look at him. You are great at likenesses, J! Shush.

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When we talk about villains, we divide them into categories. There are two categories I didn't get to: Petulant Brats (Loki, for example) and Machines/Monsters Running Amuk (Ultron, Amazo, Fin Fang Foom, etc).

And here's the other thing: I had a whole bunch of awesome information to share about the creation of Red Skull and I forgot to talk about it, so I am going to make sure we talk about it next episode. I don't care what next week's topic is. I'll work it in!

The ridiculous Batman (You're the Sex) song that my legendary band, The Stolen Minks, used to play can be found on YouTube here. No video or anything. You know what, though? I was wrong about Bruce leaving the mask on in the sex scene in Son of the Demon. He leaves the mask on when he fights shirtless, but strips from the waist up (and presumably removes the rest at some point) in the sex scene:

Wowzers!

BUT...when Grant Morrison and Andy Kubert brought this story back into canon they left the mask on in the sex scene! It's like they read my fantasy diary!

Thanks, guys!

Why am I posting all of this? Because I can! I would honestly like that tableau from Son of the Demon painted as a mural on my bedroom wall.

Dave and I also mention our past villain-inspired Halloween costumes. Here is Dave as J. Jonah Jameson in 2010 maybe?

And here's me as Captain Cold in 2008:

Man I was sweaty that night.

I just remembered that I dressed as another villain in 2009: Bizarro! Here I am with the rest of the Living Between Wednesdays team: Tiina as Elasti-Girl (not a villain), Johnathan as MODOK (villain), me as Bizarro (villain) and Dave as Hawkeye (former villain):

As you can tell, sex appeal is a huge factor when I am selecting my Halloween costume. My husband was dressed as Jimmy Olsen that night. Things got weird.

Thank you for listening! We're gonna set up a Facebook group maybe? Is that a good idea? Like a clubhouse where we can all complain about bad art and crush on Winter Soldier?

If you feel like clicking on some stars for us on iTunes we would appreciate it. Especially if you click on all five of them!

Podcast - Episode 5: Ant-Man!!!

Dave and I saw Ant-Man this week and we spoil the hell out of it in this Giant-Size Ant-Man episode (actually a normal length episode). And can I just say, it was nice to have a recorded conversation with Dave about a Marvel movie after writing out all those dialogues for our Countdown to Age of Ultron recaps on this blog.

First we discuss the Batman vs Superman trailer, which you can watch here:

And I really go off on "Renner of the Week" Jesse Eisenberg's dumb 'genocide' comments about Comic Con. You can read about what he actually said here.

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We talk about the X-Men: Apocalypse images, which you can see here.

And I try to talk coherently about Hayley Atwell's DubSmash videos. I can't. Just watch these and try not to die (like you haven't watched them a million times already). You can see the whole epic battle here.

Just follow Hayley Atwell on Twitter and Instagram. She's the best. You can check out the full Pajiba 10 2015 list, which is a great list of sexy people that I fully endorse. It's also full of hot pics and gifs like this one:

I keep talking about how awesome Planet Hulk is on the podcast and I keep not mentioning either the writer or the artist's names. which is very dumb and horrible. So here they are:

Planet Hulk is written by SAM HUMPHRIES!

Planet Hulk is drawn by MARC LAMING!

As I mention, the Ant-Man end of credits scene makes me lose my damn mind. There is a good in-depth look at both end credits scenes here. This line made me very sad:

Add in Sebastian Stan’s intense acting and it doesn’t take much to believe that this Bucky is also one who has pretty much decided to give up.
— Andrea Towers, Entertainment Weekly

Bucky!!! Noooo!!! I love youuuuuu!!!

Dave had another idea about the end credits scene, which he has drawn here and it is the best:

On the episode I refer to the writer of the Paul Rudd article as a man. It was a woman! Ugh! I am part of the problem!!! You can read that great New York Times article on Paul Rudd here, and you can join me in trying to solve the Mystery of the Obnoxious Avenger that the author clearly hates (I still think it's Downey, though my heart wants it to be Renner). Here's the quote, for quick reference:

Twenty feet away, a different Avenger hammily belted show tunes into a personal fan while some crew members pretended to laugh. Noninclusive.
— Molly Young, The New York Times Magazine

Big thanks to Dave for letting me go on about Magic Mike XXL for awhile. It's basically all I can think about.

I am not kidding about adding Sebastian Stan to Magic Mike 3. I mean, I know these movies don't need more white dudes, but please. I went home after recording and Google image searched things like 'Sebastian Stan dancing' 'Sebastian Stan shirtless' and 'Sebastian Stan lips' for quite awhile. More than usual, even.

Next week we are totally going to talk about comic books on this podcast.

John Bought Comics, Honest

I've had a terrible tendency lately to let the slightest bit of business on a Thursday evening derail me from writing those reviews that I do, but I will battle against those procrastination impulses with the only weapon that I have: brevity! Yes, by telling myself that it will take less time than usual, I have broken free from the shackles of immobility! Huzzah!

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES COMICS: Well, the Superman/Batman No. 75 super-sized special was a bit of a bust. I have never seen Batman do less in the course of a comic. I realize that it is heavily implied that he schooled Brainiac 5 with his mad detective skills, but honestly, as much as I love the Legion, Batman should always explicitly show them up. Being from the future does not give you any sort of advantage over the MF Batman, kids. I did like the Kryptonite Luthor as a villain and the various back-up pieces were fun, but my heavens was this a dull read.

By Contrast, I couldn't be more happy with the Legion of Super-Heroes ongoing, currently at number 4. Huge cast having space adventures? Check. Plots that build off of the series' past rather than merely rehashing it? Check. Quislet? Check. Let the good times roll.

BATMAN COMICS: What a week! Detective Comics No. 868 was just solidly entertaining - Joker imitators and Batman imitators having a war in the streets is nothing but entertainment - but Batman No. 702 was a revelation, quite literally. To whit: about half the time when I finish a Grant Morrison yarn I have the feeling that I'm missing important details, and as much as I liked Batman RIP/Final Crisis/The Return of Bruce Wayne I definitely had that feeling about a million times. This comic made that feeling go away. Mostly. For the Batman parts. It's a joyous feeling.

SUPERMAN COMICS: As I said last time, Lex Luthor in Action Comics is a fantastic time. It will keep me reading at least one Superman book even if variable-speed Walking Superman (well, I assume. He's already about a fifth of the way across the US, right? If it took him a month to get that far, then this should be over by Christmas! But probably not. He'll probably slow down soon) breaks my spirit. Not only does it look great, but Paul Cornell is writing Luthor as the evil mastermind that he deserves to be, something that not everyone can do. 

Meanwhile, Superman: Secret Origin No. 6. Well, as I said way back when this started, I agree that Superman's origin was probably due for a tweaking and the first four issues of this series did a pretty good job of that. And then the last two tied Superman's past in to the present that was the storyline that ended almost three months ago. So not only does this issue tie Superman's origin into a plot that is now over but it helps establish the antagonism of a character who is now dead, whoo hoo. On the plus side, it reminded me that no matter how much I loathed the General Sam Lane subplot in last years Superman comics, in retrospect it was much better than the current bumblepiggery.

ROBERT KIRKMAN COMICS: Invincible and Science Dog and Guarding the Globe in one week? and they're all really fun? This cat is on fire! I'm going to use the word trifecta! It's a total trifecta! Yeah!

Seriously, though: I really enjoy these comics. 

CODEBREAKERS TP: I could never find the second issue of this series, so this is a complete godsend. If you missed this in single issues then I must encourage you to check it out: it's essentially an action movie starring crypto nerds. Bonus: the main dude has grey-sides-and-back Reed Richards hair and it is amazing. If I weren't going to end up with an amazingly receded hairline I would aspire to hair like his.

And... done! Apologies for the horrible sentence structure but you can't argue with laziness. And laziness is my super-power. I'm the god-damn zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

The Noble Sandwich: Tool of Villainy?

I've recently had an insight: sandwiches are just like gorillas.

Uh, by which I mean that when I'm reading a comic book, seeing a character with a sandwich enhances the experience for me just as much as is I had seen that same character fighting a gorilla. Now, I don't know if this is a universal condition or if it's just me, so I'm going to try to gather some evidence and present my case. It may take some time. In the meanwhile, I'd like to give you a couple of situations to look at:

Case No. 1: The Ray Issue 14, The Ray bursts in on Vandal Savage.

Case No. 2: 52 Issue 46, Steel and Clark Kent burst in on Lex Luthor.

Now I ask you: could these panels have been any better, no matter what Savage/Luthor's response, without the presence of a gorilla? Maybe, but it would have been pretty rough going. The sandwich, my friends. The sandwich.

I realize that this is hardly conclusive proof, but every movement must start somewhere.