Review of Juvenile Humour, By Johnathan

My own juvenile humour, that is. I'm unloading all of the comic book panels that I set aside specifically because they made me snicker like a 13-year-old in Health class. They've always seemed a bit out of place when put in a review with more innocent panels, so I figured that I'd get them all over with at once. So ignore the cultured, mature portions of your brain, settle back and enjoy these bits of puerile wonderment.

Okay, so first up is some bathroom humour:

"Thanks for saving us from being ridiculed because our fire station burned down, Superboy! Now all we have to live down is the fact that you peed all over us!" I know it only works if you don't look at the picture too hard, but I like this one. I am entirely certain that a superpowered teenage boy would take any opportunity to pee out fires. It's just a given.

JOHN APPROVED

Lord knows I love Matter-Eater Lad, but this is an instance of him believing the anti-Bismollian propaganda that his powers aren't good enough to qualify him for Legion membership. Even as he makes a pretty good case for his inclusion in the group he's convinced that the only way he'll be able to keep his membership is to pander to Sun Boy's sick sense of humour. Don't do it, Matter-Eater Lad! With every iron bar you pretend to fellate you'll lose more and more of your self-respect! Take the moral high ground! Take smaller bites!

NOT APPROVED

You're gonna have to click on this one. Go ahead, I'll wait.

You heard the man, he can take it from both sides. In fact, Silver Age Superman was so invulnerable that a threesome involving a helicopter and a gorilla was the minimum that he required to achieve satisfaction - why else do you think that he avoided shacking up with Lois or Lana for so long?

JOHN APPROVED

Booster Gold gets flashed by an android. This was from the start of the 'wacky' Justice League days, so I'm not too sure whether it was intentional or not. Whether it was or it wasn't is immaterial. What matters is that Booster's got a great look on his face. More villains should run around naked, if only for the added element of surprise. Plus, Superman would look super-uncomfortable if he had to fly a naked Lex Luthor to the police station.

JOHN APPROVED

Uh, Supergirl? You should look just a bit less pleased with yourself while you explain that sort of thing.

I've got a theory that Saturn Girl's telepathic powers let her know exactly what Supergirl was about to tell her and that she interrupted so that she wouldn't have to hear it spoken aloud. And then she put Proty II in a safehouse until the Legion could work out some way to get through to Supergirl about the concept of 'dating within your species.'

NOT APPROVED

These guys are from an Atom backup story in Action Comics from the early eighties:

The Atom interferes with Plan A, so the muscle-bound bad guys charge off to the bedroom for Plan B. "Okay," you say, "this is kind of amusing when taken out of context. But why have you included it here, among so many scintillating examples of humour at its highest?" As usual when I put words in your mouth, I'm glad you asked. This panel belongs here because when they come charging back out of the bedroom they're dressed like pirates.

See? Now that's funny.

JOHN APPROVED

Last one, this time from an issue of The Brave and the Bold featuring Karate Kid, who's come back in time to clear up all of the dangling plotlines from his canceled series, and Batman, who's just doing his thing.

I'd just like to draw your attention to the fact that the cover page for this issue, seen here:

could and should be the poster for a softcore porno movie.

Batman! Karate Kid! Their forbidden love threatened to destroy society as we know it! But they refused to be stopped, refused to dampen the white hot passion of their hearts, choosing instead to dampen the white silk sheets of their beds!

Together, they are Terrorists of the Heart!

JOHN APPROVED

This Week's Haul: Flash Dance

Well played, DC. Well played.

If you haven't read your comics yet this week, I'll just let you know that I am throwing down all sorts of spoilers here. You've been warned.

The Flash #13

It's the last issue of this series. It has the Black Flash on the cover. Carrying Bart's dead body. So anything that happens inside isn't much of a surprise.

In the grand tradition of making me like a character most just before he or she dies, I liked Bart a lot in this issue. He goes down fighting. Hard.

Sadly, it's not enough.

R.I.P. Bart Allan. We hardly understood ye.

Tim Drake is sad:
I thought that was pretty touching. Man that kid has seen a pile of death.

So that ends that run on The Flash. Mark Waid takes over soon, but with which Flash? The answer can only be found in JLA #10.

Justice League of America #10

Ow! I've got boobs in my eye!

Ok, before we get to the big reveal, a couple of items:

I liked the point made by Jay Garrick that he is not the fastest member of the combined teams:

Hal? Really? Also...where's Vixen? Apparently she can run as fast as a cheetah, which can run as fast as lightning. Also...Power Girl's shorts. They are stupid. I love Ed Benes' art, but I can't stand the cheesecake. Black Canary looks even worse:

Yes, Dinah. We do have a problem. This is what you choose to wear to the office.

With that all out of the way, let's get to the good stuff. I was on the edge of my seat for this whole issue. I was sure I knew what was going to happen, and who was going to come back. I mean, I think we all did. I was close...but not quite right:

Wally West?! I mean...I like Wally. I'm glad he's back. It's just...no, I'm glad he's back. I think Batman summed up my feelings in this adorable and heartbreaking panel:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Who needs a cookie?

Again, Starman is great.

But seriously, I'm glad it's Wally. Of course I wanted to see Barry Allen (I spelled it right this time!) again. But he is one of those characters where I think his death is more important than the actual character. And Wally has been the Flash for almost as long as Barry was. He's our Flash. And he's a great character and I'm glad to see him back and a part of the JLA.

Yay for Wally!

Aw, who am I kidding? I wanted a tearful reunion/group hug with Barry, Hal and Batman. Though, I don't think we should give up on Barry coming back just yet. I think this was a fake-out. Barry will be back.

The real treat of this story was the confirmation that the Justice League and the Justice Society combined are no match for the Legion of Super Heroes.

Oh, and guess who's sticking around:

Countdown Week 45

I barely remember what happened in this. I did notice that Palmiotti and Gray were writing it for the second week in a row. And that it had a nice Benes cover with Karate Kid hanging with the JLA.

And this made me laugh out loud. Jimmy is dictating into a pocket recorder as he does some investigative jounalism:

And then he does spell out who the New Gods are, for the sake of his/DC's readers:

I love it. A double-page primer of who's who on Apokoplips and New Genesis. It's so ridiculous. Man, this series is so weird.

And just in case a New Gods roll call doesn't sexually excite the male readers, they threw in this:

So did you need to read Countdown to get the full death/return of The Flash story? Absolutely not. This entire issue was actually pretty damn forgettable. Unless you need to know who the New Gods are. And even if you do it's going to be wrong because Jimmy called the "Forever People" the "Tomorrow People" for whatever reason (possibly just to make Strange Adventures manager/New Gods superfan Dave Howlett's head explode).

The Brave and the Bold #4

Oh, hooray. I love this comic.

Last we saw Batman, he had been merged with Tharok:

I'm looking forward to seeing how he gets out of this one. But that will have to wait until next issue because this one focuses on Supergirl and Lobo.

I really like how well Supergirl handles herself around Lobo.

And I also enjoy her temper:

Especially Lobo's indifferent "Yep."

Plus, who would have expected a touching scene between the two of them like this one:

Supergirl is awesome in this series.

I love the crazy team-ups so far in this series. Supergirl and Lobo? Batman and Blue Beetle? Green Lantern and Supergirl? And next...Batman and the Legion of Super Heroes?! Awesome. I wish this comic came out every day.

The Incredible Hulk #107/Iron Man #19/Ghost Rider #12

No one is going to accuse the World War Hulk cross-over of moving too quickly.

I didn't read Heroes for Hire. Should I?

All three of these issues revisit the events of last week's World War Hulk #1, from different POVs. I really enjoyed the Hulk comic because it focused on his allies. It followed heroes (Hercules, Angel, Namora, and that really smart Amadeus Cho kid) and ordinary American citizens who are sympathetic to the Hulk, some of whom are even pro-Hulk killing everyone. Unfortunately for them, Hulk is not pro-anyone from Earth. And it's hard to convince him to listen.

So there's some fighting:

And it ends with this:

I like seeing sides getting formed, so it won't just be Hulk versus everyone. It makes sense that a lot of regular people would hate Iron Man and other superheroes after the Civil War.

As for Iron Man, this just gave his perspective on the battle from last week, with no new real information. I think that the point was to make him seem heroic and noble, but I still think he's a douche.

Watching all the Iron Man robots get smashed by Hulk's ship was cool:

Basically we got to see a lot of last week's comic with different art. Pretty art.

As for Ghost Rider, which is an odd tie-in, well...he's mostly just concerned about traffic problems as Manhattan is being evacuated. He has to make his own (awesome) detours:

Y'know, I haven't read a single issue of the new Ghost Rider series. In fact, I probably haven't read a Ghost Rider comic at all since I was twelve. I have to say, I kinda enjoyed this. I have no idea what Johnny plans on doing once he's gotten the Hulk's attention, but I doubt he'll be the one to bring the big guy down. Whatever happens, it's only going to last one more issue.

I like that art.

The Amazing Spider-Man #541/The Sensational Spider-Man #38/Fallen Son: Spider-Man

Before I get into this pile of Spider-Man (which only represents half of the Spider-Man comics to come out this week), I just want to make an obervation about Marvel.

I have figured out the fundamental problem with Marvel, and by problem, I mean reason why I don't like Marvel comics as much as DC comics. Marvel comics take place in the real world (read: current day America), and are determined to accurately capture that real world in their stories. So what happens when the real world is as bleak and depressing and tense as it is right now? You get non-stop Marvel wars, evil Iron Man, dead Captain America, and Spider-Man comics that make me want to commit suicide. Where is my escapism? Over at DC they are dealing with crazy, Earth-multiplying wackiness and bringing people back from the dead using lightning rods. And over at Marvel we have Sharon Carter in her bathroom with a gun in her mouth, and Peter Parker giving his dying aunt emergency blood transfusions.

Alright, so in Amazing Spider-Man, we have Peter Parker, not in costume, interrogating a guy. Then, by the time he's finished, he's in full costume:

So my question is: was Spider-Man changing his clothes while talking to this guy?

Sensational Spider-Man was actually really good. It was an Eddie Brock story, and it had fantastic art by Lee Weeks and Stefano Gaudiano.

Eddie is in the hospital dying of cancer (again: fun!) while being haunted by Venom. It was a Venom story and I liked it, so it must be pretty damn good.

Fallen Son is too depressing for words.

Argh. All I've got to say is thank God for Jeff Parker.

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #3

This series is so right for so many reasons. It's fun, it's hilarious, it's all-ages appropriate, it's clever...it's everything a Spider-Man comic should be. And everything a Fantastic Four comic should be. It's great. But there's only one issue left.

There were just so many fun moments. Spider-Man busting his honorary "4":

Dr Doom talking like Dr Doom should:

Dr Doom being kinda scared that Reed Richards is stumped by something:

Just a good time. For everyone.

Catwoman #68

Oh, Catwoman. I love you. Even if you comic is starting to get repetitive. I feel that it's about to go off in a bold new direction soon, though. It's always a good read, but lately I've felt that the larger story has been treading water a little. Now Holly is off to Metropolis in Countdown, and it looks like Batman might be showing up a bit in this comic again. He was mentioned in this issue.

Ha. Jupiter. Actually, Selina, depending on what you're reading, he's either chilling with the JLA and celebrating/mourning the return of Wally West, or he's joined bodies with Tharok and is a prisoner of the Legion of Super Heroes, or he is in the hospital after a convoluted adventure with the Metal Men, or he is just about to be shot by the Joker as Zatanna dies in front of him, or he is in Europe getting his groove back with a super model while trying to deal with the fact that he has an estranged son, or he is fighting off Amazons in D.C., or he is having Father's Day dinner with Tim. Just to name a few of the possibilities. Either way, he cannot come to the phone right now.

I also just want to mention that putting Selina's child in the middle of the road as she comes charging in a stolen police cruiser at top speed to stop the bad guys?

Hardcore.

Robin #163

When this comic is on its game, it can be as good as Catwoman. And that is high praise from me. This issue was on its game. First of all, it was adorable. They had me at Tim buying an engraved watch for Bruce for father's day. Secondly, it followed the Catwoman formula for fun: cute/entertaining opening scene, large fun battle against a ridiculous villain with lots of action and funny quips, cute/entertaining end scene.

I'm not saying that all comics need to be like this all the time, I'm just saying I like it when they are.

Cute opening scene:

Funny villains:

Fun fight scenes:

Alfred fretting about Tim not being home to make dinner like he promised. Bruce Wayne strolling into the kitchen just as a casual reminder that he is sexy:

Good stuff!

Captain America #27

This comic is so awesome. Seriously. I know I just went off on Marvel for being too serious lately, but I forgive all things Brubaker-related because they are PERFECT.

This issue had a whole lot of sexy, sexy Winter Soldier and his mission to steal back Cap's shield, and kill Tony Stark. I approve of both parts of this mission.

Here's a nice scene at the National History Museum's Captain America memorial exhibit in Washington:

We also learn that, while in Russia, Bucky was getting some action from Natalia Romanova.

Nice! Too bad she's working for Stark now.

And if hot Winter Soldier action doesn't turn your crank, how about Sharon's new outfit?

Something for everyone!

I am really not giving this comic the respect it deserves. But, really, who doesn't know that it's a frigging masterpiece?

Aquaman #53

This comic just gets better and better.

For one thing, Manta is totally awesome.

Ha! "Attention, beloved trembling citizens!" Just a perfectly-written villain.

Actually, every character is totally awesome. And the story is great. Each issue is packed with tons of great dialoge and interesting plot developments. It's one of those comics where you can kind of trust that there is a solid plan for the story arc, and that they are going to do a good job telling it. I heard that this title is in danger of being canceled, and I, for one, will be miserable if that happens. Anyone who loves Jeff Smith's Shazam series should love this.

Plus, Manta gets his face bitten off:

And the shark that did it? Awesome.

Alright, I'm feeling under the weather and I am tired of writing. I also really enjoyed The Legion of Super Heroes in the 31st Century #3, and Marvel Adventures Iron Man #2. Two high quality all-ages comics that were great-looking, entertaining, and funny.

This Week's Haul: Batman's Magical Mystery

Sorry this week's is a little late. I had a lot of stuff to read. I don't have time to review everything, so I'll just say that Jonah Hex, Scalped, and The Initiative were all really good. I haven't gotten to the Simpsons Summer Shindig yet.

Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane #19

Everything is always a little bit better whenever a new issue of Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane comes out.

Look at how cute!!!:

Ok, so in this issue it becomes clear that Flash has some personal problems because he's tired all the time. Harry continues to be a pretty big jerk. And MJ helps both Flash and Spider-Man, because she is awesome.

But what I love is that she does it on her own time. This scene, where she politely declines Spider-Man's request for her to listen to his problems, is fantastic:

Yeah! When Spider-Man says 'jump,' MJ says 'maybe later.' I love it!

Eventually they do meet to talk about Spidey's girl troubles. He's conflicted because Firestar wants them to reveal their identities to each other. It's a thinly-veiled euphemism for 'going all the way.'

The tension is killing me!!!

Detective Comics #833

Well this was exciting! Lots of fun with a twist ending that I won't give away. I really haven't liked Kramer's art on this entire run, but I thought this issue looked really good.

I like stories that pair up Batman and Zatanna because magic makes him so uncomfortable. I thought the back story about them as kids was cute.

Lately their relationship has been made more interesting after the whole mind-wiping incident in Identity Crisis. I am hoping that after this two-part story the bad blood between them will be resolved.
The All-New Atom #12

I laughed out loud so many times while reading this. Starting with the first page:

Gail Simone rules. I love Ryan Choi so much. I love the quotes that pop up throughout every issue (including one by Brian Posehn in this one!). I love everything that Ryan says and everything he thinks.

I love the supporting characters, especially the floating head that is now his roommate.

People that aren't reading this are missing out. It is hilarious.

Nightwing #133

Beautiful cover by Ryan Sook.

Inside we had a whole lot of Dick being dumb. Y'know, everyone gives Hal a hard time for being kinda stupid and always thinking with his crotch, but I would argue that Nightwing is worse.

In this issue he meets up with an old flame, and pretty much loses his mind. I mean, seriously. We get pages and pages of this thought process:

I want to remind you that this is abridged. There were seriously pages of this, ending with this one:
"I like pie."

Dick, you're an idiot. This weakness for females is a serious handicap. I can't even imagine. Like, I like cheeseburgers, but I'm not all Don't eat it. It will crush you, just like before. Smells so good. Meat. Meat and cheese. It smells like meat and cheese. Don't eat it.

Pull yourself together, Dick.

Midnighter #8

Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!

This issue starts with Midnighter being his usual badass self, killing a dude in a horrible, horrible way. Which leads to this very funny panel:

Hawksmoor decides that Midnighter needs to work on his human relation skills. He wants Midinghter to try helping an ordinary citizen with an ordinary problem.

Hee!!!

He does find her cat, after what turns out to be a fairly Midnighter-ish adventure involving a mad scientist who is turning housepets into bionic super-pets. We get this adorable scene at the end:
This very fun issue was written by Christos Gage, and the artwork, by John Paul Leon, was really nice. I like the Midnighter comics because the character is almost a blank slate. Creators can kind of go crazy coming up with things for him to do.

Justice League Unlimited #34

Do you know what I like about the JLU comics? This:

Blue Beetle! Hanging with Booster! All the characters are here in soothing, uncomplicated forms.
I always check out the JLU comic every month, and some are more interesting than others. This was a good one. It involved Superman confronting Zod in the Phantom Zone. And it ended with this, which you won't find at the end of any other comic:

They made a banner!!!

Man, that gang is so cute.

Countdown Week 47

Sean McKeever steps up to the plate this time, and I thought the results were far better than any previous issue of Countdown. I haven't been hating the series as much as a lot of people, but I am aware that it's a bit of a letdown after 52.

There were some really interesting and fun moments in this issue, like the business with Black Adam giving Mary his powers:

Huh.

And I LOVED the conversation between Pied Piper and The Trickster.

I find these two so charming. That's just some well-written dialogue. I'm excited that McKeever has joined team DC.

Supergirl #18

??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea what's going on here, but I know I don't like it.

Gross!

Well, at least I agreed with one thing:

Birds of Prey #107

Alright. Let's see what it's like when women fight each other and it doesn't suck.

Awesome!

Things actually ended pretty nicely for most of the Birds of Prey/Secret Six battles. Huntress and Catman went back to flirting:

Barda and Knockout called a truce and shook hands as a display of mutual respect:

Ice was back to normal, all sweet and nice and alive:

And Deadshot is still awesome:

Superman #663

This issue was clearly supposed to have come out before last week's Countdown, and before Lightray's death. They cover it up with one of those little "This story occurs prior to Countdown #48" boxes. But let's not quibble over scheduling problems. Let's instead focus on how awesome it is watching Superman use his teeth to rope up a bunch of meddling kids with heavy cable:

I don't know if I've ever seen Superman carry anything in his mouth before. Huh. Neat.

In this issue Superman is still troubled by the prophecy handed to him by Arion: that the presence of himself and other aliens was going to lead to the ultimate destruction of the human race. While he broods over this, a bunch of pesky kids from New Genesis are creating chaos all over Metropolis. It's kinda funny.

Lightray tells Superman to take the night off, promising that he'll make sure the kids clean up their mess. Supes reluctantly agrees and takes Lois to Maine, which is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, he can't stop thinking about that damn prophecy, and about how Arion has told him that he has to stop being Superman.

Man, how late do the antique shops stay open in Maine?

So that was Lois' opinion. Supes also gets one from an oddly-dressed Lana:

I was into that. The other options for a man with Superman's powers, if he has to quit the hero game.

I was also into how beautiful Pacheco's art is:

Pretty...

Pretty...

This Week's Haul: So This is What it Sounds Like...When A GOD DIES!

Two weeks in a row my comics were delayed until Thursday. I can understand last week, because it was a Canadian holiday. But this week it was just a dumb American holiday and they held back on releasing the comics on Wednesday here just to be fair. Horrible!

Anyway, the agonizing wait is over. And it was worth it because there was a lot of fun between the covers this week.

Countdown Week 48

So...who doesn't know about Jason Todd's identity?

Like...this is concerning me. Bruce should really put a lid on this thing because it won't take a genius to figure out who Batman is if the whole world knows that Jason is an ex-dead ex-Robin. Jason's hero name seems to be Jason Todd, because more people seem to be calling him that than anything else.

Hey, look at what Jimmy can do!

Weird!

Karate Kid says something that you will never hear outside of a comic book:

And Lightray dies, causing Superman to speak in fonts:

That cracked me up. It probably wasn't supposed to.

Amazons Attack #2

Oh, those pesky Amazons.

Once again, the Amazons are HARDCORE:

Daaayummm!

I'm liking this, because Will Pfeifer and Pete Woods is a solid combination. And look at this thing:

There are battles, and then there are BATTLES. This, my friends, is as awesome-looking as an attack gets.

My boy Batman gets a starring role in this one. This is fun:

Oh, I have been waiting my whole life for someone to say that to me.

As much as I love me some Batman, I was kind of sad for Black Canary. I mean, who exactly is in charge here?!

Come on, Dinah! You're supposed to be the chairperson! Tell Batman to shut up!

Daredevil #97

I am finally caught up on this series. And what the hell took me so long?! It's FANTASTIC. I mean, obviously. You team up Brubaker and Lark and the results are always so good they actually frighten me a little. I mean, even if I didn't already think so, this series alone would tell me that Brubaker is the best writer in comics today. But he also happens to be writing, and has written, a whole bunch of totally amazing comics.

I mean, there are a lot of great writers working in comics right now, but Brubaker writes comics that I feel I can lend to anyone, whether they normally read comics or not, and they will not only love them, but they will understand them. His writing is very straightforward and engaging, and avoids getting tangled up in obscure references or overly complicated casts of characters.

Sometimes I'll just stare at one panel, re-reading the dialog and staring at the art forever. It's just so good. Daredevil is my new boyfriend. I mean, check this out:

Yeah. That's hot.

This was pretty surprising:

I hope Brubaker and Lark are doing the next 200 issues of Daredevil. And then Brubaker should write a new Daredevil movie that doesn't suck.

Blue Beetle #15

J. Torres!!!!

Superman was a really busy guy this week. He shows up in Hawkgirl, Countdown, Amazons Attack, and this as well as starring in a giant-size issue of Action Comics. It's a toss-up between this comic and Hawkgirl for most adorable cameo, but this was decidedly more entertaining.

I mean, first of all there's this page:

I just love the way he's holding both of those guys. Also, Livewire rules.

It gets really funny at the end because there's this whole Very Special Episode-style conversation between Blue Beetle and Superman:

That's just so...funny. "Go on, son. I'm listening." And then the sage advice and the whole "You did the right thing." "Thanks, Superman." exchange was just so delightfully wholesome. Superman!

And the art, by Freddie Williams II, was great too. Check out this facial expression:

I love this series.

Green Lantern #20

Everyone's favourite piece of meat is back in action this week. He's still dealing with that obnoxious Star Sapphire.

Hal does what he always does when faced with a problem. He makes out with it.

Pretty clever, Hal. When in doubt, make out.

This is what I like about Green Lantern comics. I'm just sayin', you're not going to see that in a Batman comic.

I love the art on this run. Everyone is all great-looking.

I like Cowgirl. But it doesn't look good for her, because guess what Hal just found out about Carol:

"Divorce?! That's my favourite word!"

Oh, Hal.

Justice Society of America #6

More Geoff Johns goodness!

"Insane? Wait, who are you again?"

Oh Starman. I love your crazy ass:

Aaaand I loved this:

Hee! I am really enjoying this Kingdom Come Earth development. I guess that what we are really learning is that all of the Elseworlds actually exist in the multiverse. It's fun.

And this was fun:

What about Black Lightning? He's cool! And he's standing right there! What wouldn't Diana like about a gold medalist decathelete?

Lovin' this cross-over. Get to the part where Barry Allan comes back!!!

Teen Titans # 47

I'll be honest. I only half-understood what was going on here. I'm making an effort to get to know the Titans but they are so damn confusing.

I did understand this though:

Robins! Ooodles of Robins!

Lordy those three boys all look the same. It's like Bruce has them manufactured or something.

Well, that was unnecessary, Tim. I expected better from you.

Action Comics #850

Now THIS was adorable!

A celebratory 850th issue of Action Comics that looks back at Superman's history via the Legion of Superheroes teaching Kara about her cousin. It's very clever and fun. And it's beautifully drawn by my new favourite person, Renato Guedes.

So, yeah. Brainiac 5 is testing out his new invention, the Chronexus, which allows people to view any point in time. He decides to use it to show Kara Superman's past. But first he has to find the correct past (read: the current origin and continuity for Superman; read: Birthright), which is fun. It takes him a few tries, which means we get awesome pages like this:

Everything is good about that page. "That hair! No."

Eventually Brainiac finds the right Superman and we follow him from birth on Krypton to present in a series of vignettes with snappy Legion commentary. And there are some really awesome and cute scenes, like this one after Clark's debut as Superman:

"Ah!" So cute.

His first date with Lois:

His first Justice League mission:

Barry! You're killing me! Look at his posture!

And here's a heartbreaking scene where Clark and Lois are talking about children:

Awwwwww.

New and Improved Supergirl!!!

I am very excited about the new look for Supergirl, as drawn by Renato Guedes. She just looks so...correct.

And she's still sexy, just in a normal proportions kind of way. No more breast implants.

I forgive the kinda gross upskirt sketch because it reveals that she is wearing boy shorts underneath!!! Sensible!!!

If DC is going after the female demographic with this character, I think they are taking steps in the right direction. I would totally hang out with this girl!

The new writer, Tony Bedard, takes over in August with Supergirl #20, and Guedes will be drawing. I can't wait. I am so pleased because I really don't want to hate Supergirl, but outside Brave and the Bold, I have had very little choice.

There's an interview with Bedard at comicon.com with more sketches that you can check out here. Things are looking up!

This Week's Haul: Better Batman and Other Good Stuff

Comics other than All-Star Batman and Robin came out this week, and many of them were very good. Let's take a look:

Batman #665

I love that this came out the same week as All-Star Batman. Everything about this comic is so right.

When we left Batman last time, he had just been stomped on by a large Bane-looking guy in an ally. This issue opens with this fantastic page:

So funny. And then Roxy the prostitute gives the injured Batman a lift, which gives us another great scene:

Aw. The look on Batman's face!

Batman drags his battered ass up to the penthouse (which looks awesome) and calls Alfred. Alfred and Tim get over there and Alfred pumps Bruce full of drugs. Bruce wakes up later and is all freaked out. We get an incredible facial expression:

God that's awesome. He looks like he was left Home Alone.

Batman's all scared because he's pretty sure he is being visited again by the "three ghosts of Batman": a killer Batman, a bestial Batman, and a Batman who sold his soul to the devil. We already saw the killer Batman shoot the joker in the first Morrison issue, now we've seen the bestial one stomp on Batman's spine, and the third one will no doubt be showing up in #666.

I really liked Bruce talking about the "Black Casebook" of supernatural files:

Batman's got X-Files!

He doesn't let it get him down for long, though. He goes to the laudry basket and takes a whiff of the dress shirt he wore the day before during a board meeting at Waynetech to get himself psyched for battle. It's weird, but entertaining.

I love this series.

Action Comics #849

I liked this better than the first issue in this two-part story, but it's still kind of meh. Religion.

I like it when Superman fights guys that are about equal to him:

I like his "Hmph."

I like Superman enjoying this pretzel:

And I like the way his boots are all slumped over against the wall in this panel:

And that's about all I have to say about that.

Supergirl #17

I was actually really looking forward to this issue because I liked the last one, but I was kind of disappointed. I can't even say for sure why. What happened to Mark Sable? He was credited as co-writing this issue on the website, but not in the comic itself.

I still think Supergirl looks a lot better. With her new normal-length torso she is also a lot shorter:

Her skirt looks really good in that panel, but that was a fluke. It's still a curtain tie for most of the book. And she still has those heavy Turner-style eyelashes that I hate because they look like spiders.

I'll admit, I'm a little confused about what's happening in this series and how it fits in with DCU continuity. Does that mean it's on another Earth? An Earth where Robin looks fantastic?:

This last page was pretty exciting:

Now THERE'S a Supergirl everyone can enjoy!

Countdown Week 50

Team Jonah Hex writes this one, which is rad. This issue gives us a much better idea of what Countdown actually is than the first one did. This time we got a series of vignettes filling in a few holes we've seen in other DC titles, along with snippets of a larger Countdown story-arc involving Jimmy Olsen, and another with Mary Marvel. Interestingly, a lot of the scenes take place in New York, rather than one of the many fictional DC cities.

I love seeing Jimmy back in action, with his pal Superman helping him from space:

I loved getting to see that fight between Batman and Karate Kid that we never saw in the last issue of Justice League, along with an extended aftermath scene:

I love that tube of Bat-costume. Especially the placement of the gloves, making it look like it's trapped in there. The art, by the way, was really excellent on this book.

I like it. It's like a bonus feature disc full of deleted scenes. This could be a very fun series.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #3: Captain America

I am just never going to like this series.

Guess what Hawkeye wants to talk about (after he introduces himself unnecessarily to Iron Man and the readers at great length):

Iron Man knocks him out and Hawkeye wakes up in a prison cell. This is where things get weird.

What? Ew! Keep colonoscopies and polyps out of my comic books! Gross! Iron Man has a new hobby!

Anyway, then they get to talking about The Death of Captain America.

It's a very big coffin.

I kinda enjoyed the Hawkeye talking to the Young Avengers part, but it was still sort of clunky.

For some reason this panel cracked me up. Maybe I'm a jerk, but a sad Iron Man is always funny-looking to me:

And, Jeph, repeat after me:

"I. Will never. Use the word 'diddling.' Ever again."

Diddling is like what pedophiles do. It's just below "porking" on the list of gross euphemisms for sex. Man, I'm so grossed out right now. What's the next comic?

The Flash #12

I checked this out because it was one of those issues with an ending that will change the Flash forever. It was a pretty good issue.

I liked Mirror Master coming out of Flash's shiny earpiece:

Pretty clever.

I liked the Rogues chatting about what they were going to do now that time had stopped (though it hadn't, really):

And the shocker ending? Yup...it looks bad for Bart. Almost as if he's going to be replaced...by someone who has been dead for quite some time...

Justice League of America #9

I like the teams being split into little groups, each going to a totally different place. We've seen Arkham, we've seen the Fortress, and now we see Gorilla City and Thanagar. Fun times.

But I think that Meltzer may be grossly overestimating the top speed of a cheetah:

But I don't want to nitpick. I want to talk about this double-page spread of awesomeness:

Power Girl and Hawkman sitting in a tree! That's hot! I love the personality that PG finally has in the new JSA series. I'm so pleased with this development that I'm not even going to complain about her stupid-looking shorts. Aw, she had her heart broken. Hook up with Batman, Power Girl! Doooo it!

Heh: "I appreciate the size you think your testicles are." Power Girl is awesome.

Aquaman #52

I'm glad that, right in the first panel, we get an explanation as to why our heroes are in Sub Diego when we learned in WWIII that Sub Diego was lifted back above sea level. Well, it turns out not all of it was. So that answers that mystery.

I'll keep saying it: this comic is ridiculously fun. There's a word that I am searching for when I am trying to describe the writing, but all I can come up with is "informative, interesting and easy to follow." This is why I am not a professional writer. Maybe the word I am looking for is "good." Actually, do you know what I think makes this comic extra awesome? There very little narration. And when there is, it's a third-person perspective and it's very clear and informative and usually pretty funny. The story mostly depends on dialogue, which is delightfully snappy.

Funny!

This really cracked me up:

The Babe Squad! I love it! That lobster girl! Holy God!

Did I mention that the art rules on this series?

X-Men First Class Special

Well, this was awesome.

Three very funny and enjoyable short stories, and three even funnier mini-comics, involving the original X-Men line-up. Jeff Parker writes them all, and is joined by a kick-ass team of artists (including Colleen Coover! Woot!). The book has a sort of Bizzaro Comics feel to it, which means it's nothing but fun. Magento using his powers to grab the key for the bathroom at a coffee shop? Check. The X-Men battling a mutant beatnik's powers of persuasion? Check. Angel in a sailor cap?
Check.

Plus, there's this:
X-Men + Ducklings = Perfection.

Colleen Coover rules.

Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #2

It's weird to see Timber Wolf in two comics in one week, being drastically different. And by weird, I mean great.

Timber Wolf, Robot Fighter!

SKREEEEE!!

Catwoman #67

If you aren't reading this series, you are cheating yourself out of one of the most consistently action-packed comics going. There is very little in the way of hanging around and chatting in this series. Even now that Selina is a mom, the violence never stops.

Team Lopez rocked the art this week. I love everything about this page:

I like that Selina has her own little Bat-family now. She has Holly as Robin, Calculator as Oracle, Slam as Gordon, and...Karon as Alfred. Sorta. Anyway, it's good stuff.

Catwoman is rad.

The Plain Janes

This was really, really good. I loved it. The writing, by Canadian punk rocker Cecil Castellucci, was very funny and very smart. I loved the little gang of high school girls being secret performance art guerillas. I loved how layered each of the characters in the book were, despite still having clearly-defined interests that shaped them. I loved the sports-obsessed tomboy who refused to shape her eyebrows but still had a girly crush on the captain of the basketball team. It's little details that change a character from being a one-dimensional stereotype to being real. It was just a really interesting and entertaining read, and it's fantastic to have another great book to recommend to younger readers. There are so many indie comics out there that would almost be perfect for younger teenagers, but have some element in them that elevates them to mature reader status. I know the Minx line is intended for teen girls, but I think DC would do well to just continue to publish well-written, well-drawn, all-ages books for both boys and girls. This line fills a definite hole that existed for those who aren't interested in superheroes, and also aren't old enough for, or interested in, Vertigo or most Manga.

Teen-appropriate indie comics. We need more of them.